Thursday, December 30, 2004
todaE weNt to meeT thOmas anD chun weI undeR moI blocK...lolzz..we acc cHun weI to mrT staTioN den meeT jia hao they all...den we all took bus go queenswae..hahax...aT queenswaE there shop shop den go back le..hahax..i bought a sKirT [eugenia pei mi choose de..hahax]
reach yishUn ... actually wanna go 219 de but den daddy wan mi go back and have dinner together...so go back lo...hahax had soup+abit mi fen and afew onion rings for dinner...*buRpz*
havIn headacHe agaiN le...verI paIn...haix..dunno y will like thatx..very long le...arghh...*feel like choppin my head off*..hahax..veRy naN sHoU
tomorrow goin countdown...wat shld i wear??...haha...
~maN maN de ba nI faNg kaI..jiu zHe yang wo xI guaN le meI yoU nI zaI sHenG bIaN de rI zI le...i am controllin myself to fall into that...mayBe i caN controL now buT,...caN i controL mYselF froM faLLin iNto iT in e fUture maHx...oR izziT juX anOtheR miscOmcePtion for Mi agIan...~
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>< looKiN iNnocEnTx >< hahax 
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*__acTiN cUtex__* [hahaHax]
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__'sIsTaZ'__
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+=+frEnZ+=+ [sTaY cOoL]
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*~cHeeZe~*
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+[FrEnX]+ *kel.kwanG.pRis.mI.Feli*
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*\\*mI..feLi prIs*//*
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tOdae weNt to deposit my moNey deN go out wiT piNg dey all to qUeenswaY...aFter that gO c them traiNiN...lolxx...ermx mi watch halfway den go home le..hahaxx..
kel told mi..he told him alot of things abt mi de...lolxx..haix..if is abt mi de so wat..haix...even he got ani feelin he also wont sae de...jiu suan shuo le ye wan hui bu liao le bahx...when its gone it is gone...i nv wanna gib u up...but u force mi too...if u got anithing to sae tell mi now before i really gib up hao mahx...haix...
~whEn iTs goNe..iT is goNe forEva..mIracles oNli haPPeNx onCe in e lIfe tiMe..~
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004
todaEx aRx...weNt out to plaY bbaLL...den *booM* raIn feLL hahax...i waS dreNcHed lolxx..hahax..plaYed till aRunD 5+ den weNt hOme le..prePare mYselF for the stuPid scHolaRshIp thiNgy...hahax..that thinGy eNd aT 8..aftEr taT weNt hOme deN gO ouT plaY bbalL...mEeT thomas unDer mY blocK den gO 219 togeTher...
wE lefT bbaLL cOurT aT abT 9++ deN mi ping thomas and hao go niGht maRkeT walK waLK as thOmas waNNa buY cLotHes maHx...afTer taT wenT hoMe le...
aT hOme ..haD a sMall qUarreL wiT muMMy...i explaIned the biLL tO u le...u dUn undeRstaNd deN u scOld mI...U waN monEy i aLso giB u lE...u saE waT u bU xI haN...if sO y asK mi to giB u...i dUn mInd u alwaS scoLd mI..buT caN u jUx be mOre reaSoNabLe maHx...eVerytiMe u scOld or beaT mI wiThouT anI reasOn..u goT spaRe a toT for mI mahx..i aM uR daUghteR noT u cHu qI tonG....IS MONEY ALL U HAVE IN UR MIND...sUan lE..xi wanG miNg tiaN huI gEn haO..
*leTTiN u gO biT bY biT...lEaRniN to fInd mY waY out frOm this drEaMx whIch onCe beLonG to mI n U...*
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Monday, December 27, 2004
hahax..slp till 12.30 todae...mi pig sia..hahax..went out wit feli..pris..kwang and kel to bugis...walk walk there take neoprints..buy bag...buy shirt...hahax..kwang bought a bag and i bought a shirt[halter] hahax...walk till abt 6++ den we went back le...kel and kwang went to sembawang c them trainin..den e rest of us went home lo..hahax..lolx...HE ask mI wat mi n him were tokin abt yest...i sae nth anihow tok..den u said i believe u i rather go die...if u don believe den forget it lo...
^wO bU doNg ba wo men jiao gei ming yun dui mahx...i realli don know..but doin dis will be better for e both of us ritex...MaYbE baHx...buT wo zHen de kE yI waNg jI nI mahx..wO xi waNg wO meN bU chEng xIanG shI guO..buT xIaN zaI sHuO zHe xIe yoU yoNg maHx...nI raNg wO xiN fU guO..ye rang wO kU guO..^
~wO aI nI zhE jU hua shI wO zUi xIaNg ting daO nI duI wO sHuO de..zhI shI zaI ye bU ke nEnG le..jiU raNg wO ba eVeRthIn chanG zaI xiN li bahx..wo yong yuan bu hui wanG jI...yiN weI nI rang wo zHen zheN xiN fu he aI guO..hahax..~
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ermxx...yest went marina eat wit jia hao dey all...lolxx..we ate till abt 12+ den realise no more train le so no choice gotta ton..lolxx..den i called mummy den she scold mi..haix..i noe is my fault but u doesnt have to sae u wan to commit suicide rite..haix..but at last she allowed...hahax..we walk from marina to tanjong pajar back to marina den to city hall den to dhoby ghaut den to somerset...lolxx..5 hrs of walk lehx..hahax...den we all so tired sia..hahax...guess wat...we saw ren yao..hahax
den at 6.30am..we took first train back to yishun..reach home at 7++..gosh..daddy at home den i noe i sure die de..but he only said u so late den come home mux well dun come back..lolxx...even though he nv sae anithin..i noe that he is disappointed...sorri dad..sorri mum...let u all worry le..
todae went to ah yi hse..hahax played wit baby den at night go airport to wait for my uncle who came back from new zealand..he bought a few box of biscuits..he doin business therex..the biscuit nice lo.hhaax...
*time to leave everythin to fate le..if mi n u realli meant to be den we will be together de...time to realli let u fly le...hahax..i am gonna wake up from my slp and continue my way le..i will find by my cheerful self de..i wanna let u all c my real smile and my real character hahax..i noe u dun wanna mi sad so i shall smile true..hahax*
*somehow...i feel that i am used to daes witout u le...so let it be bahx..let mi continue to xi guan xia qu..haahx...shui ran ou er hai hui xiang ni...dan bu hui xiang cong qian yi yang chang wei ni ku le...*
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
yest..have bbq at upper seletar reservoir den ton there also..hahax...before bbq mi kwang kel go j8 buy things..hahax...kwang pro sia..leg factured still can long bang mi ride bike..hahax..
nv slp haha den all of us went back at abt 7+ lohx...went home bathe le den go slp till 11 den go out ...
went to watch kung fu...nice show..funny too..haahx...after that go 219 lerx...go 219 awhile den go home le..hahax...prepare myself den go meet mummy and jie jie they all den go orchard together...
helll...the mrt was so crowded..orchard is even worst lo..so the cramp..everyone is squeezin one another den still anihow spray e crazee balloon...hahax..went back at 10++ den go makan wit mummy lo..after that walk home..hahax
~iT hurts mi to c u lookin down on yourself..dun keep on doin that hao mahx...u r not bad...pls stop saein that u r bad...haix...i dunno wat i can do..i wanna share ur troubles and burden but u didnt allow mi to do thatx...wo yong yuan dou hui shi ni ai guo de xiao tian...~
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
haix..wat have i become..lolxx..havin trumatic moodswing sia..pain in my heart jux dun seem to go awae or get lesser..alwaes tot i have stand up le..but actually still so down..hahax...wEarIn a chEerfuL masK every dae to cover my sadness...hahax...now i noe..nV fall in so deep for a relation..u will become..bian ti lin shang de...haix...sick feelin giddy and cough..lolxx..
nV fall so easily for sumone...hahax..they might hurt u in e end bahx...i tot u guyx[piggies] understand mi most...but now i noe u all don bahx...or maybe is i have changed...maybe bahx..lolxx...*how dO i exPect othErs to uNdeRstanD mi..wheN i duN eveN uNdeRstAnd mYseLf or nOe waT i waNx...* hoPe thaT ouR freNshIp jing de qI kaO yaN bahx....
todae arx...meet hao den go collect bbq thing den go meet eugene for breakfast+lunch den meet kel go chom pang order satay for bbq...lolxx..after that went to northbrook see they match lo..felicia and pris also got go hahax...northbrooks won by 20 over points.. *dun be dishearted..try harder..u guys done ya best le* after match mi feli pris and kel go makan den go 219 play bball awhile bahx..hahax...
long time nv go out wit pris and feli le..misses them alot..hahax...after that went home le lo...haix..sianx...
tml got bbq...feelin excited at first..but in e end dunno y i dun feel like goin lehx..haix...meetin kwang n kel tml go j8 buy presents..*kwang...takax of ur leg and rest well wor...*
~man man lai...gei wo shi jian zhao hui shu yu wo de wei xiao hao mahx...ranG wo jiu zai meng li shui duo yi xia...hao mahx...you yi tian wo hui hui dao cong qian de wo de...wo bao zhen..~
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
todae went to play bball at 609 wit yong yi and you yi at 9am..lolxx played till 10++ den go for breakfast at mac wit jia hao together..after that mi hao and yong yi go c the bbq thingy den go 219 play bball till 4++ den go walk walk the night market...
after that mi meet sam and sindy at yishun mrt den go ssc together cox i wan buy uniform mahx..but den sindy dunno y nv go lehx..den mi n sam go first lo..den we walk walk there ...see things..bought a shorts..hahax..after that sindy called and ask us to meet her at yishun so mi and sam went back lo..den sam daddy came to fetch her home so mi and sindy go jalan jaln night market again..den shop for shorts cox she wans shop till abt 8+ den she came my hse to see wat shorts i have till abt 9 den she went home..
~haIx...feelin like cryin..i noe its impossible le..cox of my happiness..jux cox of my stupid happiness...haix...if it is that...u r wrong..u nv knew wat i want ... u nv knew wat was happiness to mi..y u gave mi up ...i nv gib u up and i wont no matter wat...u very bad alwaes make mi cry de....i wan beat u arx...but i dun bear...EVERYTHINGS GONE...ALL GONE~
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
todae...wakie at 9+ den go ah yi hse..hahax..was like rottin there...doin nth but play com n eat..hahax..the baby was cute..i carried him but he cried *am i that scary?* hahax...after that went back in e evenin...
mummy went out again so i go play bball lo...hahax..didnt realli play bahx...lolxx..see them play match lolxx..he like injured or smth like that bahx..haix..worried for him den jianwen they all make fun of mi..lolxx..i wan to go forward and ask him if he is alrite but i dun have e courage...
hahax..jian wen they all sae wat...xiao tian ..eric leg duan liao..i was like -__- den i sae why dun u all sae he die liao..haix...*wo shi bei zai liang xin shuo hua..qi shi wo hen guan xin ta..wo hao xin wen ta..ni hao mahx.*
about 8++ den went home le..yong yi pei mi zou hui jia...hahax..hao jiu mei you ren pei wo zou hui jia le..lolxx...
~wO duI nI de pRoMisE..wO huI zHe yanG aI zHe nI..wo hUi yI zhI deNg dAo nI huI laI...
nI ke yI shUo wO sHa.wO beN daN nI bU neNg zhU zhI wO deNg nI...yiNg weI wO doNg nI li kaI sHi weI wO haO er bU shI nI bU aI wO le...[am i lyin to myself]...huO xU is i not worth for u all this while...u r too good le..haixx~
~haO xIanG zaI jiao nI dEaR...hao xianG zaI xIanG yi qIan yI yaNg neng shOu zaI nI sHenG biaN...haO xiaNG duI nI shUO...wO aI nI...zHi shI zaI ye bU neNg le duI maHx...raN wO zhe yanG sHa sIa qU baHx..haha~
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
ermxx..todae wakie at 9++...do houseworkx..den watch tv..den went out at abt 12 bahx...went to funland meet jia hao..kk..yiping..and kel...after tt kk has to go first den the rest of us go makan...
after makan we go 219 play bball..hahax..ping wanna shoot in 149 ballx..so mi acc him lo..i help him count the no. of balls he shoot in..lolxx..after thats ta dui.i dunno wat happen to mi..i was like played rough??..hahax..feelin like fa xie so fa xie lo...played in e rain..*cooL*...hahax...
didnt really smile much todae...i have no ideal why...haix..suddenly dun feel like smilin..maybe moodswing again bahx...lolxx..hahax..went home at abt 7.40..actually wanna go wit them to 165 de but den dun wan la...feel like goin home..
haix..really breakin down soon le..i am tired and sick le...played bball to ma zui myself...smile to hide my sadness..hahax..act strong yet i am weak..act like i am so not hurt but den i am super sad...arghhh...wanna forget but my hearts longs for him...yest sum1 ask mi..U THINK HE STILL WAN U MAHx..i replIed: i duNNo..but i dun think so le..cox he gave mi up first de... buT i waiT cox i noe nI yoU li yoU thaT u neeD to leaVe..wo hui deng daO ni hui lai de na yi tian...buT ni hai yao wo mahx..
~wO men zI jiaN yoU zHonG yiN xinG de gaN ga..wO he nI zi jiAn gE le yI daO qiAng...wO de gaN shoU nI mIng baI maHx..daNg nI shuO yI qIe doU shI weI wO haO shI..nI doNg wO yoU dUo tOng mahx..dang nI li kaI wO de shi jiE shI..nI donG wO haO wU zHu maHx...ke shI daNg wO kaN daO nI de weI xIaO sHi...wO haO kaI xIn...yiN weI nI kuaI le ye huI daI geI wO kuAi le...wO xIanG duI ni sHuo haO duO sHi..wO xIanG gaO shU nI dis one mth plus...wO yoU duO tonG duO naN gUo...zHi sHi nI haI huI zaI hU maHx..nI haI hUi gUaN xiN mahx..~
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Friday, December 17, 2004
todae arhx..wakie at 9..den go out to 609 meet cyn they all play bball..hahax..played till 11++ den go pass ball to kel den go ahyi hse le...lolxx..
aT ahyi hse see baby lo..hahax..*cuTe*..deN about 5+ i go back yishun first...go 219 find them play bball...hahax...got one time when they play match..he nv go play..den mi n him sit apart...he sit one side..i sit another side...we were very quiet...[hate this feelin...i wan to tok to him but i dun dare...arghh...i wanna time to go back to e dae we haven together..we you shuo you xiao de..and the time when we were together..very close de]
went backie at 9pm..walk my way home...haix...why am i alwaes havin moodswing de...lolxx..
zhi yong told mi..he noe that i am fakin my smile when i am infront of eric..lolxx...zhen de mahx..ni kan de chu..haiz..i noe i am fakin it..but that is the least i can do to show him i am okay ritex...
~wo haI pa..you yi tiaN i wiLL breaK dowN infronT of U...i aM reaLLi sCaRe..wO bU yaO qiU anIthIn..jux waN mI n U to be closeR thaT all..wO meN zHe yanG is noT eveN like freNx lO..wO bu yaO zHe zHonG gaN juE...arGhh..wO yoU haO dUo wEn tI yaO weN ni..buT u wiLL rePly mI mahx...haIx...wO haO xIanG nI~
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
*---tIaNx loVex...---*
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deCided to change my blog add...limited for ppl to go onli...lolxx..for my close frenx and him onli...
todae went to meet hao..shun bin..chen hua..eugene..at funland den go queensway meet alvin n chen yang together lolxx...walk walk in queenswae den go makan ...after that go back yishun to 219...lolxx...plaYed awhile den go home le..cox todae cannot too late go home...daddy got cook...
[i have been eatin..lolxx..gonna put on weight le ..sianx...]
den at msn bei zhi yong xia dao...he sae wat his fren wan punch eric cox he too cocky le...den sae wat eric kena punch den nose bleed...*kaox...like tt sae...i tot real de..almost cried out lehx...*
wo hai zai hu ta...i still cares alot...dan wei she me xiang ai que yao feng kai...or am i e stupid one...thinkin that this relation would last so i went in soo deep..at e end wat comes back...i got hurt..nan dao ni gei wo de teng ai shi shuo fen kai mahx..nan dao wo de xin fu zhen de na men zhong yao mahx...ru guo shi wei le wo de xin fu..den stay dun leave..wo hai shi na yi ju hua...neng gei wo xin fu de zhi you ni...
maybe wo zhen de bi bie ren xin fu...yin wei wo chen jing yong you ni...chen jing ti hui guo she me shi zhen zhen de ai...xie xie ni rang wo liao jie ai hen xin ku dan you ni de ri zi hen xin fu...ye xie xie ni rang wo xue hui jian qiang bu zai yi kao ni...wo bu xiang fang shou yin wei wo dong ni hai zai hu wo...wo hai neng gan jue ni dui wo de xin...but maybe wo de gan jue shi cuo de..*whO noes...nobody noes ur feelin...except urself*
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yEsT: meeT keL aT cc deN go 219 play bball...played till 8 den go home wit sindy le..hahax...samantha and jasmine came down also but they went back earlier...lolxx..
todaE: went meet kel den go 219 play bball...awhile later kk..alvin..n chen yang came down too..play for awhile den kel go home slp..mi go home take money den come out again lolxx..meet thomas den go find hao they all together..lolxx..after that went to sembawang see them trainin..lolxx...hai hao bahx the trainin...went home at 11 plux..lolzz..soo long nv go home so late le..hahax...long long time once nvm de..lolxx...the coach sae eric and hao shooter sia...*good job guyx...jia you*
~leI le...ke shI wO bu xIanG fanG kaI..wo haI pa..faNg kaI hoU jiu bU neng zaI wO zhU nI he nI yI qI zOu le..i cHen xIanG guo...fang kaI nI jie sHoU bie reN..daN shI wO cant do It..wO faNg bU xIa...haixx...yao zhaO daO bI nI hao de reN heI rong yI...buT is the feeelInn..wO duI nI de gaN juE shI duI biE reN sUo meI yoU de..dUi bU qi wO aI nI...arGHhh...haIxx~
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Monday, December 13, 2004
yesT waS sunDaE: wenT ouT wiT muMmY to j8 till abT 5++ deN wenT hoMe le..hahax...after thaT weNt tO finD haO deY alL..lolxx..den we gO seMbawang..waLk heRe walk there all the cOurT nO ppL de...deN at lasT we cHose tO gO aDmiraLty plaYx..lolzz...deN went baCk aT 9 bahx...prepaRe mY nPcc sTuffs..lolxx...was watchin star awards wHile ironin my shirt deN...burnT...lolxx.hahax...
tOdae: waKie aT 6.20..den prepare myself aNd wenT to ytss for the idIotic SANA couRse...
the cOursE waS like *bOriN* i almosT dozE oFF maN..lolxx..dun intenD to gO for tMl coUrse..aniwae i dIdnt eveN lisTen tO wat e insTructOr saiD..tmL sure fail..soo dUn wasTe my owN tiMe bettEr..hahax...the tiMe go plaY bbalL better sia..hahax..
hOw i wIsH i cOuld qUiT nPcc...dUn feeL liKe geTtIn invOlve in anIthiNg...lolxx..jux waN mY frIenDx..hIm and stuDies..n BbaLL jiU enuF le..haix...tired..course finish at 4++ den wenT nP jalan wiT sam..lolxx..jalan till 5++ deN wenT home le..sianx..hahax
~aI yI gE reN bU xU yaO reN he lI yOu..aI jiU sHi aI..~
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*pEaCe* [dUn acT cUte laRx...]
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*~mI...zI liaN...~*
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*[mEiX]* ++++ *[kOrX]*
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Sunday, December 12, 2004
Yi Ran Shi Peng You
ching ren jie de chian yi tian
ta li kai ni shen bian
zhi shen sia ni de je jing de shang mian
na yi yeh
wo pei je ni
ni ku le yi jeng yeh
ni shi fou chi tauwo dui ta yi yang hen xiang nian
chi tau you yi tian
wo he ta pong mian
zai na jian
wo men chang qu de ka fei dian
zhai chi dau you shieh kan shou
wo he ta shei dou bu kan shuo qu ko
wo men zhi jian ying chang le she me
chu le hou zhi ji mei ren dong
ke shi ni ni je me shuo ni zi tau hao shi bu shi chong ze bi kai wo ~oh~
wo e yang nan guo duo si wang wo men bu cheng xiang shi guo
zhai chi dau you shieh kan shou
wo he ta shei dou bu cheng shuo qu ko
wo men dou shi zui hao de peng you
sui you yong qi qu kai ko bu zai hu
ni zai nan guo
wo men hai you hao da hao da de tian kong ~oh~
gu shi de zui hou
wo men dou bu cheng shi qu guo she me...wo men yi ran shi peng you
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yesT aRhx..ermxx...went to sembawang wit wendy ping hao and qing hua...after tt wendy go first den mi frog ping n hao go find eric dey all..lolxx..after tt they go makan le den go trainin..den mi went home lo..dunno why keep habin mood swings..
ToDaE: meet hao n jasmine at 12pm at cc..den we makan le den go 326..lolxx..they havin match but den rainin..lolxx...then dey wan dun wan like tt...den his mood not good lo...haix..see his mood so bad..i also frown sia..lolx...[so long le yet i am still like tt...its a habit le bahx]but den when i see him smilin..i smiled out..hahax...i onli when he is sad..i will be sad..but when he is happi i wll also be happi de..hahax...after tt match end at 6+ bahx..den thomas him kel went home first...mi hao qinghua jasmine ping go 928 makan..lolxx...after tt i went home le...
i dunno wats happenin to mi le....i jux cant get over him...i dunno why..it has been 1mth and 7daes le....yet mi is still here longin for him...oh...godd... i am such a failure...haixx....his words are all runnin in my mind...i jux wanna sae sorri to him..sorri that i had fallen so deep...sorri that i cant forget him..but as long as u r my fren still...i am very happi le...realli...very contented le...
i still misses u...i am still cryin to slp..but for your sake i smiled everydae cox seein u everydae makes mi happi...*i aM sO naVie..[tian zhen]*
~dUi bU qI wO aI nI...wO zHen dE aI nI..bU gUaN nI zHe me xIaNg..nI zHe me ShUo.wO yI juE dINg YaO zHe yaNg aI nI~
*ai nI bU sHi liaNg sHaN tIan.meI tiaN duO xIanG nI heng dUo diAn.haI bU xI gUaN gU du JiE daO.yoNg jI reN cHaO.meI yOu ni yOnG baO.~
~wO yUaN yI yOnG yI qUe laI huAn yI gE shi gUaNg jI..huI daO wO meN xIanG aI de sHi hOu..~
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Thursday, December 09, 2004
sLp aT 3aM den waKie aT 10am..lolxx...hahax...meeT thOmaS..shUn biN anD haO aT 644 dEre for BrEaKfasT lolxx..hahax..eaT le den we gO thOmas hOuse siT sit use coM...den gO cc plaY bbalL...lolxxx...he aLso wenT theRe...hahax...sOmethiNg haPpen at cc..lolxxx...
we wenT to eaT desseRt aT 926 there aT arund 5++ i think..after that went back cc find him n cg...after that he n cg go first to take com den meet us at 637...played bball at 637 till 9++ den went home le...lolxx..
sIanx...todaE aT 637 sHooT 20 ballx onli one went in...haix..dunno why like that lehx..lolxx..havin alittle moodswing again..haix...
hahax lolxx...jia hao dey all ask mi why i alwaes smile de..lolxx..i replied that cox it shows that i am cheerful bahx...actually e real reason is that me dun wanna my frenx to worry for mi den i wanna show him that i am not hurt..i am still the same old cheerful mi....lolxx
~wO xI waNg dUi nI de gaN qIn ke Yi jiaN qInG yI diaN..zI shAo zHe yanG wo huI bI jiaO haO guO..ke sHi wO de xIn qUe ye die ye sHenG..wO wU fa jIanG zI jI fU qI lai..wO jUe de haO wU zHu..sHui ke yI jIaNG wo la Qi laI...~
~wO meI tiaN dOu daI zHe xIaO rOng..Yin weI wO yaO rAnG nI zHi daO...mEi yOu le nI wO ke neNg huI heng naN gUo daN sHi zaI nI bIAn qIaN wO qUe hUi xIao yIn weI nI de cHu xIaN raNg wo jUe de heNg kaI xiN...ye shI xIanG duI nI sHu0 mEi yOu nI wO haI sHi huI kai kaI xIn xIn de GuO...~
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
tOdaE aRx..wenT cc plaYed bbaLL..plaY till abT 6++ den we gO 609 playx..lolzz..they take bus..den jasmine drive mi there hahax...*daNgeroUs bUt fUn* hahax...plaYed till 10 den go back le..very happi bahx...can play wit him on the court...
cried also...was pourin out my xin shi to jasmine...abt him..lolxx...jia hao's ball hit my face...*oucH* very pain lo..hahax...haix still remember last time when i hurt myself..he will definitely ask mi i okay mahx de...now lehx...haix...everything changes le...mi n u are driftin further le...i haTe this tyPe of feeLin lorx..is like so nears yet so far..haix...i misses your voice...ur msg u noe mahx...u got any ideal that i am still waitin mahx...
i dunno why i am still holdin on to a wish hopin that we will be back again..i really dunno y..although i noe that it is totally impossible le...
*wO faNg fU shI zaI deNg daI qI jI chU xIaN de nA tIaN..sHui RaN wO bU xIaNg xInG qI ji..ke sHI wO haI sHi baO zHe nI huI huI laI de qI daI...*
*haO dUo reN dUi wO sHuO..FanG qI nI bahx..daN wO hen JuE jiaNg..wO bU xIanG yaO..yIn weI wO zHi xIanG geng zHe wO de xIn.yIn weI wO haI neNg gaN juE dAo nI na Yi sI dE gUAn hUaI...*
*wO biNg bU jIaN qIanG..wO heN cUi rUo..wO ke yI meI tIaN zHuanG zHuo meI shI..daN wO neI xIn qUe heN sHanG xiN...*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
a few daes nv blog le bahx...hahax...ermxxx
sUndaE: wenT tO ahyI hse iN e mOrnIn deN aT nighT gO sembawaNg fiNd haO dey all...lolxx...reacH home at 10++...he alsO there..dunno why very happi to see him..hahax...had a little conflicts wit daddy...hahax [i am also at fault]
moNdaE: meeT hao and shuNbiN aT 10.30 at mac to take breakfast..den we all slack arund at 600++...lolxx..very bo liao daes lo...hahax
todae: went ssc wit hao..eric..thomas..yang..ping..cheng hua..qing hua..alvin...den after tt go cc play bball...dey trainin their tacticz..lolzz..sumthing happen...[kel] dunno wat got into him..lolx..yuppiex...went back at 8.45pm..den watch tv..ya...soo like tt onli lo...
~i duNnO whY i stiLL misses U soo mucH...i reaLLi waNNa giB up..buT i jux caNt..i hoPe tO be like lasT tiMe..i waNNa stand wiT u alwaEs..but do u noe my feeLiN mahx...haixx...~
~wO xiaN mU laN qiU...yiN weI ta xIanG shI nI de sHenG minG.yiN wei ta Ke yI yI zhI PeI zHe nI..caN i be the oTher thinG in yOur liFe whIch is as impt as LaN qIu....~
~wO bU zHi daO jIe xia laI de lU yaO zHe yang zHoU..wO faNg fU shI zaI yuaN dI paI huaI deNg daI zhe nI huI laI daI wO yI qI zHoU~
~bU guaN weI laI de lU yoU duO kuN naN..raNg wO peI nI yI qI dU guO haO maHx..wO bU reN xIn kaN nI yI ge ReN beI zHe na meI zHoNg de fU daN..~
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Monday, December 06, 2004
*~yoX..nTh dO so zI liaN lo..heex~*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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+= yEs SiR... =+
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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=-xIaO tiaN-= [mi wIth mY caP]
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*~mI~* zI liAn
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
haix...its midnight now...date: 05/12/04
lolx..a sad dae...on this same date last month under my block he pass mi a letter...its also e dae we break up..dunno why i feel my heart breakin but my tears are jus intact..they jux coudnt fall out...lolxx..i remembered i told him before..i will not leave unless u wan mi to and u choose to..lolxx...i still hold on to this words...i guess i realli need to leave bahx...i have no idea why i misses u so much...
in e past: i can forget sumone easily but u r exceptional...maybe to mi u r my soul mate bahx..lolxx. yest ping ask mi wat if u got a new stead..my reply was..i dunno..wat can i do..is ur choice if u r happier with her i can onli give u all my blessin..
truely..i also dunno how i will react..but i am sorry cox i couldnt promise u that i will not cry or hurt myself..i have been hidin smth from u...maybe now u already wont mind but i did hurt myself..two cuts on my hands...lolxx...i agree i am silly..i agree i am useless and helpless...i agree i am stubborn..i am sorry sorry sorry ..sorry for my everything my stupidity..my silliness and my stubborness...sorri sorri...
to all my good frenx especially wendy: i have no ideal when i will stand up...i noe u all care...thnks alot...i noe u all dun like mi to fake my smile and cheerfullness..but den that is the least i can do rite...i dun wan u all to worry...u all alwaes sae he dun worth it..but den let mi choose hao mahx...i choose to wait..so i noe he worth..but den thnks aniwaes for all u all de concern...
seein u smilin and happier...i noe that u leave mi was the right choice...maybe all this while my fault..i am not able to share ur probs and unhappiness wit u..i am not able to make u happi when u r wit mi... at least now that u left..i can see ur smiles..all ur smile make mi feel that its worth for mi to agree to leave u bahx...although i dunno if u r smilin from ur heart..
wo bu yao qiu anithing...wo zhi xiang yao ni zhi dao..wo yi zhi dou hui pei ni...wo hui man man xue zhe fang qi zhi yin wei wo tai ai ni...wei le ni wo yuan yi hao hao zhao gu zhi ji ye qing ni yao hao hao de ai xi zhi ji bu yao mei ci shuo zhi ji mei you yong....bu guan fa sheng she me shi wo yi zhi dou hui zai ni sheng bian wo yi bu dou bu hui li kai ni..wo ai ni...shui ran wo bu dong ni xin zhong hai you mei you wo de chun zai..zai wo xin li yi ran you yi ge di fang yong yuan shu yu ni de..ni shuo de mei yi ju hua he mei jian shi duo shi wu ke qu dai de.. I PrOmise u that u wilL nV be rePlaCed...
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, December 03, 2004
~mI~ -__-" zI liaN kuaNg -__-"
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-+mI+- [wiT haiR halF tiEd uP]
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had a short chat with him..he keep sayin that he is useless and hopeless and he dun worth anione to care abt...haix..it breaks my heart when he sae all those thingy...i dun wanna see him lookin down on himself...if he is like that ..he isnt bein happier rite...the reason i agree to leave is to wanna see him happi..but he isnt..if i knew that he is still like this ...i wouldnt leave him...
he sae he feel like dyin...if this is so...if he wanna die pull mi along pls...dun leave mi behind again..the feelin of bein alone is very scary n helpless de... dunno why i cried everytime he looked down himself..lolxx... I AM A WEAKLIN..lolxx
todae went out wit hua..thomas and him to ssc lolxx..his face was like soo black de..dunno why lehx..haix...hope he will cheerup bahx cox see him face black black i also will sad sad de..lolxx..after that went wit hua to 325 find ping they all play bball..went back at arund 9++ lolxx..hahax...
maybe like wat sum1 sae bahx...: do u think he still xxx u?..my ans is...i dunno maybe he dun le bahx...since he is e one who break it..den maybe his feelin for mi gone le..but den i realli dun wanna let go cox i scare i will regret ...i scare i will regret for no followin my heart..lolxx..
*~iF u wanNa dIe pull mI aloNg..dun leaVe mI alone aGaiN..the FeElin is sO scaRY anD heLpless~*
*~duN evEr saE u R usEless oR baD..to mI u R aLwaEs e besT~*
*~wHen U feeL like giVin uP..pls duN..coX i wiLL alwaEs be heRe fOr u~*
*~i LovE u..no maTTeR waT haPPen i wiLL stiLL loVe u~*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Thursday, December 02, 2004
todae wakie super early sia..haha abt 8++...dunno y mi wakie up so early..couldnt get to slp lehx..sian diao..hahax...ermx went to 325 play bball todae..lolxx my hand pain sia kena hit my ball..lolx...*xi guan jiU haO le* ermx cg kk n him went 325 find us after their trainin..lolxx..kinda misses him?? hahax..maybe bahx...or maybe i get use to e loneliness le....lolxx...he dun look happi lehx..dunno wats wrong...haix...my mood also siao siao de...awhile good awhile bad...-__- my attitude prob gettin worse le..haix...watz happenin to mi..lolxx...
*shruggg* seein him like not happi like tt [maybe he tired bahx] lolx..i got e rush to ask him wat happen...*diaox* haix..these 26 daes have realli been a hard time for mi..haix..sianx...but nvm...as long as seein him smile...at least the hardship..sadness and pain i am goin through is all worthwhile..hahax
*thinK* i straightened out my thoughts le bahx...these few daes have been thinkin of certain thingy..lolxx...hahax...Y musT ppL geT tireD of smtH...if theY noe they will get tired why they wan it in e first place...haix...
i still misses e daes wit u by my side when i am down...lolxx...i misses e daes when i get to call u and tok to u...maybe u might sae now i still can call u..but e feelin is just so different..soo strange lo...mY heaRt is still sealed...mY minD is set to wait for u...i dunno is it worth mahx..i onli noe i wanna follow my heart decision...so atleast i wont regret..hahax
~guO qU ranG ta gUo qU..laI bu ji..conG xiN xI huaN ni~
~others might think u R not wOrth..buT as lonG as to mi..i feel that it is worTh..i will waiT~
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yesTt: wenT ouT wiT ah hao dey all..but den go buy contact len first wit kel..pris..and thomas..and ah hao..ah pin..qing hua..yuppiex...we went bugis after that go buy shoes..hahaax den at night go 165 play bball..he also dere..miss him bahx..hahax..lolxx..den abt 9.20 i went back le..walk my way home..*scarYyY*hahax...
toDae wenT to 100++ with thomas dey all den go 637 play bball...played till abt 6.30 den go home le..hahax..cox mi cannot too late go home mahx..hahax...abit of mood swing..dunno y...haix
already 26 daes le...yet i am still here missiN hiM...hopiN tt he will be mine again... *shrugg*..
Y i faLl soo deep arghh..haix...dun wanna accept anione le..jux wanna wait for him..i dunno why i will fall in so deep..haix...maybe fate bahx...fate put mi n him together den break us up...hahax..but somehow i hope tt i nv know him before lo.at least i will not fall for him..but on the other hand..mi wanna be wit him..haix....stUpiD mi wiT sTupiD feeLin..hahax...
maYbe he now soo happi le..soo cheerful le..maybe wat he needs are jux frenx and brother bahx..maybe bahx..sooo w/o mi he still soo happi..[thats good bahx..like tt den he leave mi he is happier den its all worth le]..but den realli over le mahx..realli mahx...arghh...
xiao tian argh...wakie up..u cannot slp on forever de..u need to face e reality de..u need to walk out de...hahax lolx....
*ppL whO liVe in memOrieS arE e haPPiesT le..sO i choosE to livE in oUr meMorIes*
*wAitiN for ur love onEs migHt be sO hurTin..buT it is also verI haPPi*
*zaI zhe shI jie sHang bU shi meI jiaN shI doU neng rU nI shuO yuan..jiU shUaN nI yoU duO me bU sHe de..haI shi yaO faNg qI de*
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