Monday, January 31, 2005
tOdaE arx..wEnt nP wiT sYlvia aNd WeNdY aFtEr sChOoL after ThaT went hOme Le...hahax...dEn aT 5++ wEnt to Jie Hse studY wiT thoMaS aNd cAi huaNg...sTudy tiLL 8+ dEn weNt hOme lE...jUst a VeRy siMple DaEx lO...eRmxx...i duNNo waT fisH i feeLin nOw lO...is lIKe waN anD duN daRe..aIya...duNNo hoW to dEscRibe e feelIn iN mY heaRt...NVM...hahax...
**wO meN de aI..gUO le Jiu bU zAi huI le..zHI daO xIaN zaI wO haI mO mO dE dEnG daI..**
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, January 30, 2005
yEsT..nTh mUcH baHx...weNt to cAusEwAy wit vErOn anD sAm...tOoK soMe neO priNts wIt sAm..haha..wEnt baCk aT4++ coX hafta gO out wit mUmmY aNd dAddy..hahax
tOdaEx aLsO nTh mUcH baHx...wEbt 219 aT abT 3 lo..get fRom YoU yI mY wOrk deN tok tOk awHile dEn go aH ma hse...lolxx...aT ah ma hSe tiLL aBt 7++ deN gO hoMe le..
JusT twO nOrMaLx dAex...hahax...
+--rEmeMbeR tHe wOrd a.i.a.i ?..i reGreT nOt caLLin yOu that beFore we brEaK..haIx..sTilL haVe e rUsh tO caLL u dEaR..dUnnO wHy leHx...U rEaLLi leT mI gO le aRhx...u rEaLLi leaVe mI alOne lE aRx...haIx..i reMemBereD 4mths ago i was LooKIn fOrwArd tO vaLenTines...bUT noW i duN le..cOx i tot I caN sPend iT wIt U..but now..iTs oVer le...haIx--+
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, January 28, 2005
erMx...hAd my pHysIcs TesT tOdaEx...the paPer waS aLright *noT easY noT diff...* [wiLL i paSS weeLL??] afTer sCh wenT to maKan wiT wEndY deY all deN wenT hoMe le...abT 2++ wenT tO meeT haO aT nP deN go cHomp pAnG cc plAy bbaLL wiT thOmas deY all...plaYed tiLL aBt 7.30 deN mi gO meeT muMMy aT nP..after thaT weNt tO 219 play bball till 10.30 deN taKe caBby hOme le..*leG ppaIn..bLeeD*
hEarD smTh thaT makEs my mooD swiNg..sOmeonE liKe hiM [e]...haix..thaT gaL noT baD sIa shE so skInnY sO nice...he definitely like de baHx..haix...shE is surelY bettEr dEn mI althoUgh sHe is oNly sEc 2...*wiLL he lIke hEr*..haix...doU breaK le sO long le..he got e riGht to cHoosE otheR ppL...waT caN i dO...buT wo zuI pa de na yI tIan hao xIanG yao laI le...haIx..wO zHen de bU xIanG kaN nI shU yU bie reN buT if U reaLLi liKe her deN go aHeaD baHx...wO huI zhU fU nI he ta de...yIn weI heN aI heN aI nI..so wO yUaN yI ranG nI waNg xiN fU de fanG XiANG qIaN jiNg...
+=sUddEnlY feeL veRy scaRe..duNNo whY...scAre thaT u woUld beLOnG to soMeone eLse...buT thaT daE have to cOme dE riTex...buT i stILL waNna saE to U..before i reGret for noT saEin oUt....i sTill loVe u...buT the cHoicE is yOurs..ta heN hao zhI shaO bi wO haO sO if u choosE her...wO zhU fU nI..althoUgh i duNNo waT i heaRd is trUe maHx=+
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Thursday, January 27, 2005
sIaNx..sTrEss..hOmewOrk geTtIn haRdeR daE bY dAex..hahax
ntH muCh yesT..wEnT tO j8 wiTh wEndY deN boUghT a pOucH frOm prOjEcT brOx..aFter thaT weNt baCk aT 5++..lolxx...
tOdaE went for the rehersaL afTer scH deN go hoMe taKe thInGs le dEn go jiE hsE sTudy..lolx..tMl phYsIcs tesT *wiLL i paSS?* haix...aT jie hsE sUddEnlY thiNk oF e haPPi tiMes i haD wiT [e]...i Remember lasT yeaR bEfoRe exaMz..we weent tO jie hse to revIse de..deN veRy fuN...haix...sTudy till aBt 6++ den wenT hoMe le...alamak 3daes nv play bball le..buai tahan le...tml mux go play le..hahax...
~wO haI aI zHe nI..wU fa waNg jI wO meN zHi jIaN dE hUi yI...wO hai xIanG zHe nI xIanG zHe nI na sHu xI dE wEi sIaO..~
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005
haix...haven been updatin for a few daes le..no mood and lazi to update...
these few daes nth much lo...jux play bball onli lo...haix...yesterdae suckx man...
i wanna befriend wit u de...but den u r makin it so impossible....haix..i noe its my fault also but so wat if we r no longer frenx le but u dun have to do till so jue ritex....u call kel nei jian...WAT U MEAN BY THAT...pls lor..he got the right to choose ppl he wanna tok to,he isnt ya robot lo...F*** la u...if u dAre den come infront of mi and scold mi la..i nv di siao u lo...u dun come di siao mi...cox i dun wanna make this matter big thats why in chinese i nv shout back at u lo...i ren and ren lo but pls la dun go too far....i got feelins too de okayx...but wat makes mi saddest is her...i tot our 4 ppl will last de but den..haix...sUaN le..maYbe thaTx e enD le BaHx...maYbe i dId e rIte cHoicE to breAk iT off BaHx...haIx
todae arx...actually wanna go c them match de..but den my teacher late off us..hahax..lolxx..den nv go lo go np meet hao den go 219 play bball awhile lo...i was not in a good mood bahx...haix..dunno why maybe over frenship bahx..reallI dun wanna lose theM..buT den shE make it liKe iTs nv possIble aGaiN le..haixx...went home with eric dey all...but they took bus..i walk den go cc awhile..saw yong yi and you yi so wait for them den go back together lo..haix
___mOOdLeSs___
*ermx...we be back friends hao mahx..bu xiang he ni na me mo sheng..jiu rang wo men cong peng you kai shi bahx...wo ba yi que leave to fate le...i noe if we r meant to be we will de...but if we arent no matter how much we tried...it is also impossible de...jiu rang wo be ni zui hao de peng you bahx..na zhong mei dang ni you xin shi jiu hui he ta fen xiang de hao peng you..ke yi mahx....lastly, wo xi wang no bu hui wang ji ni da yin guo wo de shi...*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
tOdae veRy nOrmAl lo...waKie aT 11++ den waTch VcD deN eat ...deN gO meeT haO deY all...
plaY aT 325 awhile den we weNt tO seMbawaNg...jas n mI ride biKe go[jas long bang mi de] haha veRy exCitIng aNd fUn woRx..hahax
wEnT home at 7.30 wit jas and thomas...lolxx...jas hafta go for tutition den mI n thOmas go hOme lo..he senT mI baCk *tHnKx* buT the joUrneY was *cOld..verY dIaMx de..*
acTualLy dun waNNa taKe diNneR de..buT on mY waY baCk i met mummY..den she ask mI gO tAke dinNer den go lo...lolxx...dIdNt eaT rice..i onLi eaaT veGee...hahax...
=leT time Be thE hEaLer oF my WoUnDs baHx..leT tIme deCide eVeytHin baHx=
=i aM juX a nO bOdY frOm nO whErE..iN faCt i aM jux oRdInaRy..i Am nOt daT gOod=
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Friday, January 21, 2005
tOdaE...21sT jaN...haiX..
wEnT ouT aT 11 deN go oCbC meeTin faNg rU anD weNdY deY aLL deN gO kHatiB meeT trUdY le deN go bUgis...sHOp sHop..hahax i bOugHt a tUbe tOp anD sKirT *blaCk haha*aFter thaT wenT dOwn to plazA sInGapuRa cOz aHma waNNa buY heR insTrumeNt thIngy...aFter thaT waLk dOwn tO orcHaRd...deN boUght a paIr of HigH heeL sHoe aT faR eaSt...hahax
weNt bacK arUnd 6++ deN go maKaN..verY huNgrY coX havIn diaRRhoea deN all come oUt le..lolxx..hahax...
haIx...4mThs baCk wE weRe loVin eaCh otHeR deePly...4mThs laTer we weRe lIKe sTranGeR so faR and cOld...haIx...i stIlL missEs e meMorIes loTx...haix
i nOe u aRE sTreSs uP..i dun wIsH tO aDd tO ya bUrdeN sO i kePt mY feeLins sHut...as lOng aS u noE i sTill lOve U thaTx eNuf le...
ermx...i Noe U r a gOod guY...buT soRrY...mY heaRt is SeaLed i duN waN and dUn daRe tO accePt anOther ReLaTiOnsHip...jUx leT i saId mY heaRt duN wisH to fOrgeT him..eVen iF i leT gO oF hiM le..u nOe mY chOice wiLL sTiLL be sOmeOne..lolx..jUx onlI amOng that twO i cHooseN [e] cOx i noe i sTill loVe hiM mosT...i aM noT a gOoD gaL theRe aRe otheRs bettEr den MI..leT us jUx be FreNx baHx
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
erMz...iT a nOrmaLx daEx toDaEx...loLx...weNt to maC maKaN deN go sIngaPore pOsT deN gO baNk todaE aFteR scH..lolxx..after thaT go hOme..den meeT jas aT nP..lolxx..aFter thaT we meeT haO deY aLL..
haha...wE did a Good deeD todaE...goT a wHeel-cHair bOunD uNcLe..whO needed heLp..so we wenT fOrwaRd to HelP hIm...heexx...feEl haPPi heLpiN hIm aLthough iT waS qUite a ToUgh joB...haha
weNt tO 219 aFteR thaTx..hahax...dIdnT plaY cOx theY da dUi..lolxx..sO waTch them plaY lo..aBt 6.30 den mi n Jas weNt hOme fIrsT cox..she goiN ouT wiT her mUm..deN mi caNNoT go hOme too laTe maHx..
*jIa yoU to aLL neTbaLLeRs whO aRe havIn maTch tMl..and weLL done to c gErlx todaEx*
*aI zHe nI de meI yI tIaN...nI jiU shI wO de sHI jIe..meI yoU nI de meI yI tIaN KuaI le Li wO haO yAo yUaN...*
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Monday, January 17, 2005
*taKeN aT j8..rOcKx oN* 
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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~bLeaHx~
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-=-saY cHeeZe-=-
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*~fReNx fOreVa~*
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quIte a few daes nv blog le...nth much also...went to Mrs aNg hse on fridaE...oMgx the baBy was cUtEeE..afTer thaT we weNt to j8 taKe phOto...weNt tO buGis wiT faNgru aNd weNdY on saT boUght cLothes lolxx...deN on sUndae weNt tO plaY bbaLL aT 219...
todae waS a NormaLx daEx baHx..lolxx..sCh ended aT 3 deN Mi wiT my gerLx freNx wenT to nP maKaN..aftEr that i wenT home le deN go 219 plaY bbalL...till abT 7++ den go cUt haIr..lolxx
*verY baO...ermxx weird weird de* deN wenT home le..had sOmehOw a sHort chAt wIt kor..
kOr..sOrrI i duNNo thaT i maDe u wOrrIed...lolxx..dUi bU qI...dethNks for ya aDvice...maYbe iTs trUe taT nO maTteR waT haPpeNx liFe haVe tO gO oN...sorrI kor i maDe u wOrrIed le...
*haIx...hOpe thaT evErYthIn wiLL tUrned oUt weLL for mI..haix*
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Thursday, January 13, 2005
haix...went to 219 after sch..played bball till abt 7++ den went home le..took 811 wit tingz thomas eric..lolxx..haix...why like that..everytime see u sure will sad sad de...dunno how to face u still after so many things..haix
i am very awake...i am okayx...but y u mux push mi to others..it might be jux a crush between mi n him..but it wasnt a crush for mi n u...does it still matters wat i did to myself...nahx...its all over...haix...everything gone...
these things i lost will nv return back to my side anymore...lolxx..haix...wats love...wats for my good...a bunch of craps...is these wat u mean by wei wo hao...hao ur head la..it wasnt for my good lo..
*i am tiRed..i HaD enuF..dUn sae sOrrI u R noT aT faUlt..i sTill wan u*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005
todae went home straight after sch..haiz...had a small talk wit miss ong..haix...thnk u miss ong...
went to 219 play bball at abt 3+..play tilled abt 7++ den went home le...walked my way home..haix
my feelin?? more n more complicated...but i am sure of one thing..the one who rule my heart is [e]...i nv given up from the dae we broke..i nv i nv...my heart is still wit u...i am alwaes wit u...but den does all dis still matters to u?...will u come back..i noe u care...i noe i noe..but y u wan mi to let goo...haix....i am stress...realli stresss...over so many things...when i need someone to accompany mi when i am sad..someone will be there but u noe i dunno that someone to be there i wan u...haix...
i noe u noe wat i wan but u nv noe how i feel de...u make mi drop tears time n time again..i made a vow to let go but i broke that vow cox i realli cant...sorry sorry...
after so many thinkings...i noe who i realli wan le..i wan u... [e]... still u...i am no longer so confused le...so jux let mi wait on bahx...haix
*evErYthIn wiLL cHanGe buT mY feeLin foR u wiLL nV cHanGe*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
todae late for school..was e bus fault..hahax...supposed to have detention de but den cox teacher noe is due to the bus so we were excuse *yEaH*
after sch go 219 find thomas dey all...play bball till abt 6+ den went home le
VerY coNfusEd..nO one nOe hOw i feeL exCePt mYseLf...i noe i sTill love u buT caN u teLL mi waT to dO..caN u telL mi i shLd coNt likiN u or waT...caN u replY to alL my douBts..caN u stoP avOidin my quesTion..u noe waT i wanT buT noT hOw i feeL...u reaLLi reN xiN to see Mi liVe in sucH agony?...
aM i riTe tO teLL u heR feeliN?...am i rite to let u all together[tryin to put u all together?] if i realli like u wat will u doo..will u be also so stressed?buT maybe when i c u n her together i will no longer be confused le bahx...i nv tell u becox she is better bahx...and we r hao peng you who will hui you yong qi to tell out ritex?...if u realli like her go ahead bahx..maybe she is worth to be trusted bahx...i noe u can feel my feelin..lucky abit onli..jux pretend u dunno anithing abt my feelin towards u bahx...
among u all two..its hard for mi to decide...one is the one who is alwaes there when i am down...another is the one that i cried for and realli love...
__cOnfuSed__
__cOmplIcaTed__
__saD__
__loSt__
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Monday, January 10, 2005
todaE arHx..scH ended aT 3++ cox got sexuality tok..den after sch go nP eaT le..den go 219 play bball lo..play till abt 7+ den went home le..something happen in sch..haix..wat have i become...
MORE DEFIANCE? WORST DEN BEFORE?...haix...
i aM realli confused over alot of thing..am i realli fallin into it?..am i tryin to be a he shi lao...? i realli dunno...i am blur..confused...i noe i have alittle likin for u...but i noe i will nv sae it out cox wo he ni na me hao shui you hui you yong qi qu kai kou...hahax
i nv wanna tell u also becox..i noe my heart wanted [e] most bahx...haix...i am realli afraid of fallin in deeper...[e] is hurtin mi...alot alot..i am tired le i cant stand all e tears and heart break le..i wanna go for another relation but den i am afraid of bein hurt..i am afraid that i cant forget u...i am afraid of alot of things...
if i can ever choose to go back...i rather u didnt choose mi..cox y u chose mi le den love mi le den leave mi alone...even till now i still cant pick myself up from my shattered pieces...u noe it hurts mahx....maybe u hurts tooo...but do the both of us have to turn out this way...i onli wanna noe smth from u...NI YOU XI HUAN DE REN MAHx...NI DE XIN HAI YOU WO MAHx...thats all..realli..y when i am on the way to recovery yet i still have abit of she bu de inside mi...is this the way it has to be?
arGhh...y do liFe haVe to tUrned out thIs waYx...haix...whEn wiLL i be abLe to oPen uP mY heArT?...haix...I HaTe mYselF anD mY idiOtic fEeLiN..hahax
*is becOx i aM afraId of beIn huRt or i sTill sHe bU de..*
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Sunday, January 09, 2005
a few daes nv blog le bahx..very sianx dunno wat to blog also...
mY freNshIp wiT them enDed..its all over le..nth i can do to salvage the frenship le...maybe i shld let it be bahx...i didnt shed tears and jux walk away doesnt mean i dun care...i do care is just that i dun wanna show it out....
who will ever wanna end a frenship...but since it turned out this way...leave it to fate bahx...lolxx..thnks ppl eg...cai huang...thomas...wendy...sock ching...joanne and some others who were there when i am sad...thnks alot...
haix..everydae some thing...after sch go play bball den go home study till 11++ den zzzz...den go sch...haix...no aim de..but MaThs was fUn in scH...faciN loTs of stresss froM homeworK..and other aspects of my life...
wHen i aM saDdesT theY were there to comfort mi...to accompany mi throughout..but den where r U...i noe u care i noe..but u jux wouldnt let mi noe..y...nI reN xiN rang wo Yi zHi dEnG maHx..ni reN xiN wO meI cI wei ni liU leI mahx...nI reN xiN mahx...
ppL arund mi kept askin mi i like hiM [t] arhx..mi n him stead arhx...lolxx...i am tired of answerin this question le...I duN like hIm..i like him as a very good frenx..i treat him like my guardian angel cox he was there when i need sumone to console mi...even if one dae i like him..we will onli be frenx bahx cox wo he ta shi hao peng you shui hui you yong qi qu kai kou...
*bu hui de..bu ke neng hui de yin wei wo de xin zhi you na ge ta...*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Thursday, January 06, 2005
haix..another same dae..lolx...i jux hope that mi n them will turn out to be better but it seem almost impossible le..haix...
todae after sch went wit thomas and weijie to northpoint...den we go walk walk le..go 219 play bball till abt 7++ den mi n yue ting go back first...haix...
tot it will be a happi dae..cox i have been laughin...but his email drove all my happiness aways...he sent:
R u still waiting
>if yes don wait liao
>i not worth u all wait de
>i not a gd person
>cai huang n u this few day seem gd
>he is better than me
>he worth u wait unlike me
>i seem ur blog
>don think too much on this
>u have frenship
>solve ur problem
>wish u can solve it faster
when i received it ...my tears rolled down...worth or not is not for u to decide..is for mi..i decide if u r worth..lolxx...cai huang and mi will alwaes be the best of frenx cox i owe him too much..so much le...my frenship is chokin mi to death le...fakin all those smiles which u might think its real but i am tired le..haix...i noe u still care but y let mi gooo...
=i am tired le...everythings chokin mi to death le..i no energy to carry on le...i feel lke fadin awae=
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Wednesday, January 05, 2005
haix...saD..alwaes been havin frenship probs de...i jux cant understand why she mux care so much...wat are frenx to her...dOes iT meaNs that we musT alwaes go out toGethEr and TaKe luNcH...?? iTs laMe lo...lolxx...
U aLL saId u alL undeRsTanDs mI alOt...i dOnt thinK sO lo...dUn alwaEs assUme thaT waT u gUyx saW iN mI iS cOrrEcT...iT is Not...
sInce u aLreadY saId thaT ur freNshiP beTweeN mI is gone le...deN i goT ntH to sAe le...leT iT bE baHx...JOANNE..thNks fOr beiN a goOd lisTener..i dUn wisH to c U cAughT in e mIddLe...i duN waNNa see U stress..ITs NOT WORTH YOUR TEARS...
tOdaE aFteR scH weNt nP..wiT cH..tHomas and weI jie...deN we waLk walK aT theRe..pei thomas buY present after that talk talk le den go home le...a vErY sIMplE daEx..hahax...
its been 2mths after breakup le...maybe still abit sad but i have learnt to get use le...HOPE U ARE BETTER NOW BAHX...alwaes see u face black black ..not good wor...I WANNA SEE YOUR SMILE BACK...fang xiN bahx wo hai shi yi yang hao hao de guo de..heex
had a stupid dream yest...did i faLL intO iT le?? i reaLLi duNnO..i hOpe i dIdnT..whEn i wOke uP this mornIng..i was lIke waT the tooT...y i have such dreamx...hahax...
*u gUyx dUn assUme that u alL undeRsTanD mI..u alL doNT...i duN waNNa losE anIone of U*
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Monday, January 03, 2005
aFew daes dIdnT bLog le..hahax..
todaE: first dae of school...all e boys seem so tall de *becox they wear long panTs?*..hahax..
todae was quite okay bahx...abit sianx..first dae jiu study le...sTreSs...
sUaY...mY engLisH keNa mDm taI...hahax...scH enD aT 1.25pm bUt got the sExUaL taLk..lolxx..iS abOut REACH...hahax...E--empathY---make decision for my well being..lolxx...*like wat he choose for mi?* haD some saD tIme baHx...cox i thiNk of hiM..remembeR e time we wenT to scHooL togetheR...he cooK nasI leMaK for mI and i cooK for hIm too..*the meMorIes sO swEeT buT mY heaRt brEaKiN*
afteR scHooL..wenT wiTh tHomAs deY all gO eaT saKaE...eaT tiLL verY fuLL..lolxx..althOugh mI onlY eaT tOfU and afeW sUsHi..bUt was daMn fuLL lo..eaT le deN gO hoMe le..hIs nIcK is sO weiRd..haIx..whY like thatx...dUn sae urself f***er caN maHx...i dUn wanNa see U like tHat..wO bU doNg why i still caRe ..but all i Noe is thaT u MeaN alOt tO mi...sO i duN waNNa see U looKin dOwN on yaself...
*if i leT gO le..whY dO i sTiLL caRe...wO zHen de faNg xIa le maHx...*
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Saturday, January 01, 2005
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*\\*tooK aT wOrld oF sPorTs aT orcHarD de..*//*
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*[keNa nIa daI bY yUn kwaNg aT caUsewaY]*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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todaE...waKie at 8++ den go baNk..lolxx..after thaT go nOrtHpoiNt buY dye...den went home le...[abt 10++] den dye my hair [cant cover up my previous colour lehx..haha]..after that went to meet kwang and cai huang at northpoint...lolxx..den we went to meet jia hao dey all at cwp...we walk walk at cwp den went back to yishun wait for thomas n jasmine...lolxx..den we took e train go OrChaRd...hahax..we reach there at 7+ bahx...wasnt quite crowded..but at time past more and more ppl came..hahax..den we went down e road[pris bird feli also got go wor]..we bought sprayin snow and ribbons..hahax..den we spray at ppl..lolxxx..i was kena sprayed till very jia lat lo..haha..*HaPPi NeW yEaR*
we walk here walk there...spray here n there..till abt 12++ den we went back le...oUr bodY was sTicKy *dIsgUsTin maN...*reach yishun at 1++ den they wanna ton but i cant so i went home lo...tHomAs senT mi Home..hahax..THNK U...
wHy mI n hIm caNNoT be lIke he aNd jas or tinGx like thaT...so fUn de..iz like we wan to tok but shy like thatx..haix..hahaz...
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BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
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