Thursday, March 31, 2005
alot of thingy happen lately...haix...my fault all moi fault bahx...wendii maybe yi que shi wo de cuo ...wo bu dong zhe me zhou la...zhen de zhi xiang zhen xi shuo you de yi qie...u believe oso good..dun believe also aniithing la...bu xiiang go n care how others thiink of mii le...is how i thiink of moiself..haix..weii lei zhi ji er huo dui bahx...na jiu wei le wo zhi ji er huo bahx...u tiired mi also tiired...but sorri to let u fan..duii bu qii...maybe mi n you will nv be so close le bahx..xiiang lian he ni yi qi chu men de re zi..haixx...realli feel like put everiithin to e past den start afresh...but den shui you can forget e past..haixz...this is call..i reap wat i sow..lolz..ni bu xu yao mian duii wo...u dun have to..tao yan wo jux tell mi..ermx yi hou dui wo na li bu man tell mi hao mahx...i am sad that u treat mii so cold...but den i noe is wat i deserve....but i realli treasure u all...i dun wan history to repeat maybe is cox u all lost trust in mii le..that is why u all dun wanna gib mi the chance le...[wat can i expect]
eriic..thnkx for ya reply...wo dong zhe xie re zhi...bu zhi de...haixx...aniiways sorri sorri...but wat u mean by the dae my heart fade awae for u n cg....*dun understanD*..haix..ni you shang le wo de xiin...suan le...haiix...maybe all e promises...Jia De..hahax bahz...when i read it...i told myself dun cry dun cry its over..but hao bu zhen qii de lei diao le...wo de xiin hao xiiang bei zhen ci le yi xiiA...suan le suan le...wo ye bu neng cong ni sheng biian yao qu aniithin..
toDae haVe traiin,..SGT practiical..DiiE...hahaz...confirm de...after that went to 325..play bball fa xiie...lolx...den end moi dae le..so its jux another dae without aiim..
__gUo qU le...neeD tO leaRn to leT goo le..haixx=((
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Monday, March 28, 2005
siiaNz...toDae jux anoTher normaL daE lo....hahax..ermx...tHnkx wenDii yUweN faNgru...xiao fei xiia..socK chiinG..ahma [all who was bY moii side when i was down] thNkx...sorri if i miss oUt ya naMe..i Noe u aLL caRe but sOmethiNgx aRe jux thaT bu shii penG you caN do iiT de...bU yao ba wO do de thingY tell him..i dUn wan him to feel baD...caN?...haix..
sOrri biRd...i aM wronG...iF u wanNa bReaK it ...i got nth tO sae aLso...soRRii...
haha wenT for luNch wiT wendii they all lolz...ermxx kawi went alonG haha yu wen n him...lolz...*sweet sia* hahax kawii dun u ever bullii her hOr..or else we woNt let u off de..hahax...maY u aLL laSt loNgiie..haha
[[haO leii hao leii...looK up tHe sKy...staRed aT e sTaRx woNdeRiiN if u aRe looKin aT the saMe skY tooo...iN mY miNd u aRe aLL i sEe anD all i NeeD sO if i haD to do a miLLioN thiiNgx to maKe u sMiile i woUld doo aLL e thinGx jUx for ur smiiLe...eVer siiNce e daE u weNt awaEx..i aM lefT alOnE the sTaRx in mY wOrld nEvEr liGhTx uP aniimOre]]
~~wO aii nii...zHe shii wO duii nii de baO zHeN...=))
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
anoTher bOrriiN daE i guEss..wiThouT anii aiiMx...lolzz...wenT oUt wiTh kel n feLicIa..go cHoM panG maKe jersey lolx...den went to adMiraLty to fiinD haO..thOmas..eriic dey all Lo...GosH was raiiNin maN hahax...den thEy went Fun laND..*lenG si wo le* haha..den they go makan den go yOu yii hse lo..mii den go hOme lo..haha *BoRriiNnN* heex..
wo bu doNg daO le zUii huO huii zHe yaNg..i caN onLii saE i aM still aT sqUaRe oNe..waiitiin for u..lolx..wo haO xiiaNg nii...xiiaNg liiaN zaii yi qi de wO men...jux onli thaT we arent able to return back to e time le...dui mahx...
-=-i am williN to sAcRifiCe aLL i haVe for a tiMe maChine tO brinG mi n Eu baCk to e paSt anD treaSure thOse timeS we haD-=-
-=-wO jianG huii ba nii haO haO zHen xii bU zaii raNg zHii ji cHen weii ni de baO fu-=-
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Saturday, March 26, 2005
went to play bball the whole dae todae..hahax...fuN...lolx..haviin mood swiingiie agaiin...i dunno why..haiix...am ii reallii changiin..yes bahx..i noe i am..lolx..changiin towards the badiie side bahx...SO WAT..hahax...change den change lo..NO POINT ALSO..lolx..mei you ren will care de...cox the one whom i hope that he will care has alreadii given up on mii le..so wat for i change ..haix...JIU LET MII BE BAHX..regret alot of thingy that i did...but wat can i doo..lolx...
suan le bahx..this whole world has giiven up on miie le..
i am jux an aTTuDie..RouGH..uGlY..DiSgUStIN..NoIsY..iDiOtx..SttUBbOrN gal galx..i haTe myself lotz..haixxx...fee like endiin my life n sae good bye man...tired le...realli..haix...
-=-a ReAl fuCkEr out frOm no wHerE-=-
__\\Wo bu Shii haO rEn..lol
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love ish a funny stuff which no one seems tounderstand it. it comes and goes without lettingyou know . you cant block when it comes and cantstop when it goes.what does love means actualli ?
<> loving him deeply ?
<> olwaes dere for him ?
<> video of happiness?
<> every single dae missing him ?or
<> leting him go ?
<> order urself to forget him ?
<> visiting past memories ?
<> ensure dat u are strong to overcum ?
when love comes ?u may hurt someone someone may hurt u some will be bless some will be sad some mayb ignore some may b treasure when love goes ?
some learn to let go some choose to hold onsome stay strong some commit sucide life goes on for some life turn hell for some
love seems scary but yet warm.. tender and sweet :when u are in love or out of love. u must olwaes have a positive thinking. out of love is not the end of world .and if u are in love . treasurehim/her nv hurt him/her olwaes haf trust andfaith in her/him.loving someone yet he/she didnt know..loving someone in slient it tough. u see her/him every single dae yet she ish not urs. ppl keep telling themselves dat if he/she ish happidey would b happy too. issit true can u realli b happy if he/she ish hapi but not by ur side? if u love him/her let him/her noe or u shall regret it ur whole life when he/she was with someone else..sometime because of some decision u made u hurt someone u nv wanna hurt..sorry cant cure a broken heart and sorry can bring back life..broken heart can onli be cure by themselves or time but life once it is gone it will nv come back treasure every single relationship and everyone around you Relationship ? neber get in a relationship if u do not noe howto love urself..neber get in a relationship if u were onli trying to play with it..neber get in a relationship if u noe ur broken heart cant contain anyone..LOVE is happi LOVE ish sad..LOVE ish touching LOVE ish hurting..NO matter wat ish LOVE human still cant run away frm LOVE..cos the time they were being born into thisworld they would received LOVE frm their parents
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ermxx..went mariina yest..celebrate kwee kiat and siinDy bDae..hahax..ermxx had quiite a fun dae..lolx...
ermxx sian mu jas cox can take pic wit him...haiix wo yao que bu gan lolx...
todae went to watch the eye 10..sCarii hhahaz..erm ermx...after that went to play bball till 9+ den go home le...think of alot of thingyy..
*iTs all mY faUlt..soRrii thiis tiime if reallii break friiendshiip/..all my fault le..duii bu qii..thnkx wendii for kao dao wo..lettin mii noe that i am at fault...i shld be more generous bahx...thnks for pointin out all moi weakness..xiie xiie*
[[u noe i am still waiitiin mahx..u noe it hurts mii when i am siick or wat u didnt even care mahx..it realli hurts..haix but wat can ii expectz..lolxx...]]
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
erm erm...day pasts minutes gone..another dae without anii aiim..hahax..todae had pe den was runnin 2.4km..lolx...1507..*lousii* lolx..after sch got npcc lolx..had the sergeNt test...[[omg it was damn hard lo..haix fail le..haha]] after that went home le...lolx...YeT aNoTheR bOriiN dAex
tml got sports heaTx...hoPe everythiin goes well den at night go marina makan for sindii n kk bdae..hahax..*qi dai wOrx**
=__weii nii aii de reN fu chuu shii bu huii hOu huii de..jiU sUaN zUii hOu jie guo shii yi yaNg de _-\\.
=__aii Yi ge reN shii bU qu reN he hUii baO de..sO iF i sTill loVe u n i tOld u...dUn be sTress cOx i jUx wanNa saE oUt hOw i FeeL_
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005
ermx...gonna blog a shorttiie one todae cox gotta go back to my books ...lolx...okay basicallii joined birdiie they all for lunch den smth happen...lolzz...ok...hahaz....den went home le..den go 325 play bball..lolx..siian too long no play le..played quite xiong ba lolx...sweat it out..hahax
played till6++ den went home le...rushiin through my artiicles and lots more..stress...tml is ergent test le...PASS OR FAIL>..haix..scared...lolx...GOD HELP MIII..hahaxz
-=-will u wiishiie mii goodiie luckiie for my test tml?...haha dun thiink u will bahz..haixx-=-
-=-wHo caN briinG gal gal awaY fromm thiiis saddeniin world to her dreamiie land where there iish no saDness...bUt onlii haPPiiNess anD smiiles...i hOpe u r e oNe-=-
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Monday, March 21, 2005
hao leii hao leii..ru guo hai zaii yii qii is alreadii 6mths le..haix..ke shii..haiz...fate n destiiny playiin wit us lolzz...todae arhx..lolz..nth muchiie lo...jux went to play bball after sch lo...keep on smillin to cover up all e sadness bahx..haha..
bU xiianG siao..ke shii i cant break e promiise i sweared to moiself..so have to laugh lo..hahax..ke lian bahx..haiz hao ...i rather ownself take all e pain also dun wan my frenxz to noe that i am verii sad bahx..lolx..
--i wanna to cry out to you..but u dun gib mii e chance and how am i suppose to cry out to you when u are the reason tat makes mii cry...--
[[yOur LovE is like OxiiGeN to Mii..bUt iiT becOme caRbOn diiOxiide oNce u exHale iT oUt //*_
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Sunday, March 20, 2005
siiaNz..toDae is a vErii nOrmaLL daEx lo..staYed at homee tiill abt 3 den went to meet eric they al lo..hahax den went chomp paNg deN go 609...played till abt 7++ den go back le...haha we acc felicia go take bus home..lolx..they soo bad de abihow see my hp de msg...den take the photo...idiot la..PinG and fElicIa anD jie..lolz...hai wo soo ma lu..hahax
aT home...verrii siian checkiin through moi maThs..tryin questiion that i left blank..lol..*haRdwoRkiiN sEhx*..was kinda moodiie..lolx..haix tml is the 21st again...hate this date but loVe e meMoriies iT had...but amaziinly i nv cry cox..i am too tired to cry le..hahax...hen lei bu xiiang ku le..meii you li le..hahaxz...lolxx..
-=-you meii you ren ke yii duii wo shuo..zhe xiie deng daii zhii de mahx..hahax..sha bahz..lolx..hai shii xuan zhe le sha xiia qu..hahaz-=-
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Saturday, March 19, 2005
siian...todae wor stayed at home till abt 3++ den goo out...do homework and house workk mahx..lolxx..went to bishan wit felicia...wendii and grace..haha had a niice tiime..thnkx..
ohh Gosh i had been eatiin alot..haix..gonna put on weiight le..haiz..jian feii..lolx..hahax
~its always feels good to be loved but it seems so hard to love someone especially when u dont even know wad its coming out from tat love. awaiting for something tat u dont even know wad izzit~
-=-iF loViiN u woUld bE a miisTaKe..i aM willin tO maKe that miisTaKe oVer n oVer aGaiiN-=-
[[i haTe e waY i aM cOz ii caNt haTe uu..e faCt is tHaT i LuRve U nO maTteR waT u puLL mii ThroUgh..mY heaRt is aLwaEx wiT uu __*\\
__*haHa..waiiTiin foR u almosT 5mth plus six le..haix silli silli de...altHouGh i nOe u will nv be baCk buT ii stiiLL cHoosE to waiiT..dEnG daii qii jii cHu xiiaN de Na tiiaN..hahax..wateVa..thnKx for euu leaviin mii..iT teacHes mii to bee sTroNg and paTiieNce..thNkx..i aM stiilL leaDiiN a happii liFe w/o u baHx althoUgh i canT denY e facT thaT mY heaRt stiiL yeArnz foR u..euu maKe mii nOe wat is emptY promiisEs?? hoPe u donT baHx..wiiLL u huii xiianG qi woo...eVen iis abiT i alsO happii cox at least i am nOt entirellii forgotten by uu..__*
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Friday, March 18, 2005
siiaNz...todae arhx..went out early go mac take breakfast den waiit for thomas to off work..after that went to his hse lo..do homework..hahax..den at 3++ went to play bball..lolz...den went to meet wen at abt 5++ den saw her so sweet wit kawi..xian mu sia..hahax..may u two last loong wor..heex..
play bball till 8++ den walk my way home lo...i was like abit of siao den verii moodii..haix..dunno wats my mood la..hate my mood..hahax..was like soo moodii lehx..haix..tears rolled down?? no..dun feel like cryin le..i am numbed..no more feelin...haix
how am i gonna save myself...i wan my smiles but its gone...i wan my laughter it vanished...mux u take evriithiin awae...haix lian yi dian dou bu liu gei wo...hahax...who can replace all that u had given mi..maybe u r those na de qi fang de xia..but i am not..i am jux tryiin to fang xia..wo mei you na mei siao sa bahx..hahax..fang xiin bahx bu guan wo duo sad..i will still smile..i promise..hahax
---[[loVin sOmeonE is EaSii..bUt fOrgEttiiN n UndeRsTandiiN sOmeonE is HaRd]]---
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tOdaE wenT bUgis wiT hao..nia nia..felicia..n kwang..kwang n mi bought bags..den jalan jalan dere den go back yishun le...mi n felicia go back sch with fiishiie wendii fangru..we go for tha bb boyx bible serviice...somethiin happenx..dun wiish to tok abt it...but it was partly my fault also ..hee
ermx...km: siince that gaL like u den gib her a chance bahz...dun wait for mii cox i dunno how long i will tAke to forget hiim..go fiind ya happiness bahx ..zhu ni xiin fu...we r alwaes fren rite...dun avoiid mii wor..heex
haix..heard the dang ni gu dan alot of times..den think of hiim...haix...shi bai de woo...hui you na mei yi tiian mahx...na yi tian hui lai mahx..ru gou na tiian lai de hua..jiu shi qi ji chu xiian de na tiian..if thAt daex ever come..i will treasure u and nv let u goo soo fast..haix..but i doubt that dae will come..dun wanna gib myself fasle hope le..it hurtx..
-=-wiLL u eVeR uNdeRsTanD mii wiLL u be bY mY siiDe aGaiiN-=-
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
a few daes nv blog le..siianx..nth to blog mahx...den also verii lazii to blog..
wasnt in a good mood this few daes..haix....confused..but now no longer le bahx...hahax cox my heart still wan him most lo...no matter how good de other treat mii..my heart onli got him bahx...haix...
when someone ask u those questiions...the replies u gave izzit all true?..all from ya heart mahx..u noe how heart broken i am...i tot atleast the times we were togethers the feelin we had were true...and the promises u gave was real..but in da end...everii thin seem to be like a dreamx...a dream shattered...why izzit alwaes u the one who make mi cry but u were nv the one to dry my tears for mii de...why why...haix..
went to queensway yest...den go play bball dere..call home in da nite to sae i will be home late...mummii was unreasonable..she sae wat i dun care for the familli...lolx..[[how am i supposed to care when u all dun tell mi wat happen. i am not someone who will ask de lo...pls la...dun scold mi so unreasonablii can mahx..i got feelin de..i am stress lo...haixx]] realli veryy afraid one dae when i am reallii tired le and no strength le...i will jux jump down..haix...livin my life in depressioon although i am smillin like i alwaes do haix haix...when i am gone i will nv appear again...i mean it...the xiao tian u all once known is gone..she will nv be back..the cheerful her vanished not onli due to him leavin also e stress she faced...haix..
todae meet fish and wendii go np take breakfast den go wendii hse do hw after that at nite go makn dinner den tok tok awhile..haha..walked my way home..hahax..lolx..thinkin abt thoes dae..lolx...bu dong de zhen xi..until when i lost it den i noe how impt u are to mii..haix maybe i was nv impt to u
*ai wo de ren wei wo fu chu er wo que wei wo ai de ren lei liu man lian*
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
haIx...confused..i noE u verii gooD..i noE buT i need time to forget him..he is jux too impT to mii le...so its haRd u understaNd..i appreciate ur feeLiNx..haix...maybe iF he nV appeaRs...i am yoUrs le bahx...haix
cRied ouT louD yesT..i am tired...reaLLii..wei she me aii yii ge ren na me xiiN ku de...cryiin to sleep everiiniTe...tryiin to smile..iT hurTx..haix..my heaRts huRts alot alooT
eriic can u tell mi wat too doo...wat u wan mi too dooo...wat u wann mi too doo den u will be happi....wat u wan mi to do to gain back ya confidence...i am lost u noe mahx...can u also tell mi how u feel abt someone likin mi...wat exactly u wan mi to do...i wan e ans from your heart...not ans which jux wan mi to gib up...cox i had enuF of heart breaks le...u nv noe how much u hurt mi..u nv noes..
tOdaE aRx...went to ah yi hse...den go bugis buy bag and skirt..thnkx muummiii..haiix..when will i gain back my voice..haixx
--i aM juX a biTch anD a fucKer oUt of no wheRe--
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Friday, March 11, 2005
tOdae aRhx...aFteR scH wenT home....den go out play bball le...went home at 10++ watch the da dui match..hahax..haix..
aGaIn mooDii le..dunno why...haix...i dare to face u..but y u gib mi a feelin that u r avoidinn mi...dun gib mi that feelin can mahx...it sux lo..reallii..juz wanna be closer frenz wit u..pretend that u nv noe my feelin also cannpt mehx...is it so hard for u to put everything behind..do u noe that whenever u r like cold to mi...my heart break one time..maYbe u nv noe baHx..caN u tell mI waT shLd i dO so thaT u wiLL noT looK dOwn oN yourself and gaIn baCk e coNfidenCe..
haVe u evEr wonDer whY u waNna sTeaD wiT mI wheN yoU wiLL leaVe mI..hahax..lame bahx mi...i noe u cant stand mi le bahx...i cant stand even myself..cox i wanted to end my life too le...realli had a bad sore throat and ill...pretend nth jux to cover up my xin ku bahx...hahax..was hopin that u would care...i doUbt u dId..haIx..y even ying chao thomas dey all will guan xin..but u wont even as a frenx...if u did but u didnt even sae it out...i will nv noe de...
haix haix haix
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005
quite long nv blog le..lazii to blog lo...hahax...spend my 5 and 6 march in nPcc caMp...hahax..tOugH maNx...lolxxwas able to get him off my mind awhile cox i was busii with trainin man...hahax..
had spoRts heaTs on moN...lolxx...guY trY harDEr...we caN dO iT..lolx...yesT was an easii one..lolx...went to play bball den go home le...lolx...
*sicK*..hahax sick todae..havin headache..fever..cough and achin all over man..lolx...haix..but insist to have pe cox i wanna sweat it out..lolx..cox liFe doesnT matter to mI anIwaE le..lolx..haha waiting for this dae soo long le...finally break down le...haha..phYsicallii and mentallii tiired le...soo break down le...after soo much of tryinn to be strong i finnallii fall...haha
was like cant walk...leg back hand all pain..but who will noe...who will care..will u?...i doubt u will lo...haix...maybe u always see mi smile but i am not happii at while..jux to put up a show to tell others that i am okay...thats all...lolx...keep on runnin and play bball todae..despite my sickness cox i jux feel like faintin down...den slp on foreva.and i dun have to face the idiot world le..haix... *sillii*i will wait..wait till e dae u think that u can gib mi happiiness..haix
-=-duN juDgE my fEeliN frOm mY appEaRanCe..i maY be lauGin...bUT i aM crYin deeP dowN iN mY heaRt-=-
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
haix...yest was busii studdinn phy so didnt came online and updatee..lolx..the phy was hard manx..omgg..
I am confusEd..had tonns of work and projects to be handed in on mondaees...but i got nco camp..no time to finish my work le..how?..strugglin to go or not to go lehx...haixx..but my work more impt mahx..den sat got dry run for sports heats...arghh..crushinn mi to total pieces manx...lol..haix...but i dun wanna miss e camp lehx..haix haix
who can tell mi wat to do...who can pick mi up from this mess state i am in...where r u...u said u will be wit mi when i needed someone...u liar..u wasnt there...haixx...i realli misses e daes when i can share my probs wit u...i realli misses them lots...will there be miracles haixx...when i feel like cryin..i realli hope u will be there for mi to depend on...realli...but will u...seriously...haix
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
toDae aRx..haD phOto taKin sessIon for class...hahax..after sch went mac to studii ss with wendy fr trudy and fish...endin up talkin lolxx...
was kinda moodii again bahx..stress up..haix...cried at home..lolxx...almost take e pen knife and cut myself...realli screwed up and stress up manx...am i realli soo bad..wateva i do also get scoldin from mummi...ridiculous..i am your daughter lehx..not ya salve..u dun like mi den wat for born mi...HOW I WISH I WASNT BORN INTO THIS WORLD..at least i will nv be hurt or noe how harsh life is...haix...den mi have no worriies le...lolxx...i hope u will go think lo...u got treat mi as your daughter mahx..haix...facin stress from family sux..i tot home is the best place..but it wasnt...it is the same..haix...
-=-sinGle rockx..but when u r waiiTin for sOmeoNe..it dOesnT rocKx-=-
-=-where can i finD reaL undeRstanDin and loVe and coMforT?-=-
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