SHE AINT A KID. </3

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

okies
i went to ah ma house
haha..
im SO tired can
and my legs are ACHING.
woohoo..
ah ma i MISSED YOU
you look so weak..
take care and loves
haha.. my little cousin is so CUTE can
he ran towards me and said.. jie jie why you so long never come and find me
he sings and he fed me.. haha so cute
but he is super NAUGHTY can.. haha
punch my face *ouch* haha.. i loved you little darling haha
oH my.. i ate a dumpling just now. and im so oh full
DAMN IT.. one million years pregnant haha

madeleine TEOW: haha im so JEALOUS can
6280 sha la la. haha
hmm you OWE me a shopping trip
loves loves.. see you soon

AMANDA and JIAWEN: really loved and missed days we hang out.. haha
i love you babes
haha we shall catch a movie soon
sha la la.. haha =)

people,
i know i know
i care i do
im not home
i wont be home
my soul is gone
im tired pleasing everyone
im tired trying to be perfect
you guys touched my heart
made me feel so guilty for the changes that occur
but im lost, i dont know what to do
shall we just let nature take its course
im oh so tired
people rest assured. i wont screw up my o's
you all should know me =)

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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i know ive changed
i know i wasnt what you wanted me to be
your words let me feel that you care
thank you honey
nothing caused the change in me
im just tired being the good old me
i missed you so
i missed the days we hang out
ive change in my behaviour
but my heart doesnt.
i still do care .
im sorry to say
those words actually come out from my mouth
when i was scolding some son of the bitch.
i wasnt the innocent and humble me anymore
im someone that you all doesnt know
i missed home to my soul
i missed the peace
but i know its gone.
i have no idea how to find it back.
i just want to enjoy now.
DO TAKE CARE
DO LOVE YOURSELVE
DO CHEERUP
ill return home when its time

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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WOOHOO

im FALLING in love with CLUBBING
especially with my BABES
JANET
AMANDA
NIKII
FELICIA
LVY
MADELEINE

DANCE DANCE DANCE woohoo..
and JEREMY i saw you haha..you dont look weird la haha
but SAD i have to go home at 2plus
i wanna DANCE
i wanna DRINK
oh ya.. and the guy named IVAN is god damn cute can!!
madeleine and i are CRAZY over him =)
MY LEGS ARE FUCKING PAIN NOW !!!

damn guys..
touch here and there
woohoo.. i punch and kick your ass
let you try my elbow haha =)

ohya..
brother.. i know you care.
but ive told mummy i went clubbing
and she knows what it was
so please DONT scold me
its like once a while i go club
NOT always can.
i know what i am doing.

i WANNA GO CLUB MOMO .. lol

haha had fun during the afternoon with MUMMI MADELEINE
haha ya you are right
we drew liu jie ying on a piece of paper
and we criticised him.. woolala
ill upload the pic tml.. haha
YOU LIAR LIAR BLOODY FUCKER.
ACT RICH , useless.. poor and no CHARISMA

have to go SP tml.. can i NOT go !! haha

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

DANG NI GU DAN NI HUI XIANG QI SHUI

my brother played this song yest
making me zooming back to the past
i saw the memories of me and uh hmm.

Don't play that song for me'
Cause it brings back the memories
Of the days that I once knew
Of the days that I spent with you
Oh no, don't let it play
It fills my heart with pain
Please stop it right away'
Cause I remember just what it said
It said, "Darling"

i remeber those days
so clear
those words you said
those promises we made
ni dui wo shi yan
shuo you yi tian.
ke shi dang chu wei ni liu xia de yan lei
ni bu hui dong
hao bu rong yi rang ji zhi zhan qi lai
hao bu rong yi cai gao shu zhi ji
you will never be back.
hearing that song
reminicising the past
make me feel like im falling in love with those memories
i once cried for
but at least
i feel no pain looking back now.

take my hand and let me fly
let me feel like im on top of the world
let me feel like i have no worries
let me feel the warm
let me dance like no one is seeing
let me shout like i used to
let me be me.
me
me
me
me

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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okie... SHOPPING YESTERDAY
and im BROKE now
what the fcuk haha
i NEED money for mos
any SPONSERS??
haha..ROB STEAL SNATCH =x

FINALLY.. ITS ALL OVER !!!
relieve ..phew =)
hopefully i could score well
haha and if i DO
jeremy i owe you a treat =)
DADDY please guide me through

haha.
DAMN MELISSA
how dare you make sound when you saw my honeys
FCUKING BITCH
got FINGER FUCKED by ..haha
BU YAO LI KAI WO..
damn it..no PRIDE..morons.
yup and i LOOK down on guys who live on GIRLS MONEY
LIKE LIU JIE YING
haha.
xiao bai lian.. poor you
i wonder is you live on bernice or she live on you
haha
DO SOME THINKING YOU LOW DOWN BASTARD ..

i love my
AFFAIR
MUMMY
HONEY
DARLING

i really couldnt understand
why i could remember everything
so clearly
but i dont want to
cause i proclaim that i gave up
i know i still care
i know i hate your fcuking attitude
i smile and you looked
ive learn to stare and look away NOW
its no point
having that little hope still
cause i know
the me now wasnt what you all like
and its okie
my affair, honey, darling
kor and some friends
are enough to make my life wonderful
i missed those past when the six of us hang out
but its all memories
ive let it go
cause you all let it go
we made it so clear
that it was impossible to go back.
i simply enjoy drinking and being so fcuked up
i know the sensible me is gone
gone with the wind.
shes gone. no where to be found.
shes lost in her own world
no one could hear her cries
she missed everything so dearly
but she refused to chase them back.
she is stubborn
never able to put her pride down.

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, May 28, 2006

SO LOST
SO EMPTY
SO IMPERFECT
SO REBELLION
SO FREAKY
SO BITCHY
SO ALCOHOLIC
SO SICKENING
SO ATTITUDE

*it that what i am?*

i missed the GOOD OLD ME
SO UNDERSTANDING
SO NOT BITCHY
SO HONEST
SO NICE
SO HUMBLE
SO CLEVER

*where had you go,, i missed you so*

i wanna be a ANNOREXIC woohoo
then i could LOSE WEIGHT haha

im just a shell without a soul
im searching for the soul
but who can that be
so emtpy
the nights so scary
looking back on past memories
ive gave them up
regreting making that choice
but its gone
im still all alone

you..ive put it down
but im still here for you to hang on
a sister you treat me as
i shall treat you back as a brother
or rather a friend.
because i would never be someone that you would look for
because i could never be as good as her
because you mad it so god damn clear
because i dont want to regret
i dont want to end up waiting for another NOTHING
i dont want to fall
im not strong to withstand anymore failure

moving on in search for a better someone
moving on for a better life
im tired of chasing after
im beginning to slow down
taking a look around me
ive let endless people down
im sorry
breaking all your heart
but im just no longer that girl i used to be
i know ive change
i know its not for the better
im just contented now
so let me be
when im tired ill return home
its useless explaining anything
no body understands
its useless saying out my feeling
nothing would come back
its useless trying to find back
nothing would wait for me
its useless trying to talk sense out of me
nothing i could hear

tears kept rolling on starry night
endless hurt and painful memories ive saw
sinful things ive done
daddy cleanse me?
i dont know.
im not that simple as my looks seem
looks are deceiving like wat mummy says
i hurt people in a invisible way
thats what they say
YAR..maybe so be it.

a bitch
a facade front
thats what they says
so be it
just go away
im not hard up for it
i dont give a damn
you all never understand
so please dont judge me
when you cant even handle yourselves well
dont judge me
when you arent any way better
dont judge me
when somethings you owe to me

`chun jin: happy belated birthday..it doesnt matter how you looked at me.. i DONT fucking care
i shall not waste my time trying to prove anything but here i am holding back my pride..
i still want to say, JIE,, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.sweet eighteen

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Saturday, May 27, 2006

GO AWAY
CANCEL MY LINE
I CAN NEVER BE YOUR PERFECT DAUGHTER
YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW THE CARE I HAVE
IT IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME TO BRING ME UP?
THEN JUST ISOLATE ME
LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE !!!
SO WHAT IF I LOVE BRANDED STUFF

THAT ZARA SHIRT
THAT LEVIS JEANS
THAT CHANEL SUN GLASS
THAT TOPSHOP SKIRT
THAT URS HEELS
THAT GUESS SHIRT
THAT PC WALLET

I CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT HAVING IT,, cox you can never GIVE them to me
I NEVER KNOW THAT YOU WOULD SAY:
go and be a PROSTITUE and earn money la
dont need to study la..

FCUK YOU.. you are my mother yet you say this?..
WHAT THE HELL
GET LOST.
ya if its so hard to communicate with me and kor
THEN SHUT UP .
WE LOVE BEING ATTITUDE
whose fault?

IF I CAN CHOSE
I WANT TO BE RICH
HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT
FAMILY LOVE AND MATERIAL LOVE AND TRUE LOVE
cox
YOU ALL CAN NEVER GIVE THESE TO ME
YOU ALL NEVER UNDERSTAND
IM JUST A BLOODY STUPID USELESS DAUGHTER
WHO CAN NEVER STUDY WELL
IN YOUR EYES
SO BE IT !!!
I STUDY FOR MY SAKE NOT YOURS

FCUK OFF,,
LET ME DIE
IM A BLOODY BITCH
ALCOHOLIC BITCH
I WANT ALCOHOL =)
im no longer that girl i used to be
and i dont give a bloody damn now
no one can stop me
only the one i love

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, May 26, 2006

okies.. i ended school like 8 in the morning
hmm i took back my report book
STOP asking me my level position
i DONE so badly can
i feel like crying
but its the startiong of another door
i have to BUCK UP
no more playing

woohoo went to meet madeleine mummy and amston.
haha
went to my house and change.. lol

okies.. im sorry janet was so late can
we went MISSING in tp
haha saw jeremy and liane
woohoo i MISSED you guys can.

loves loves.
i yearn for it
i m hoping for it
but i know
its not the time yet
fate will bring it to me =)

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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hmmm

HEART TO HEART SESSION with kor yest
BROTHER,, i know you care
i know what im doing
stop pushing me..
i have confidence in all i do
i WONT regret..
thanks for all those words..
we are STRONGER than others because we achieve everything we want ourselve
i know you will be there to guide me.. thanks

zhiyong:
my BELOVED god-brother..what is happening to you.
it hurts me to see you being in such state
you used to tell me.. NOT TO SMOKE
but what are you doing now?..
you were never so ah beng
but what do i see now?
HEART BREAKING SCENES
kor come back come back
change change
i know im GONE CASE
but you arent so please
kor..ill be here for you

YOU,,
out you go,
i feel so weird.
i know its impossible.. so baby go away
i shall let it go.
i dont miss you like i used to
im immune. thanks cause he trained me to be immune
haha.
ni na me ai ta jiu ba ta liu xia.
i hope to see you holding hands with her
though i might not know
what my reaction would be the next time i see you
but..
OUT YOU GO!!

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, May 21, 2006

VAUNT @ MOS

HAVE THAT SMASHING GOOD TIME AT MOS THIS MAY!
DATE : 30TH MAY
VENUE: MOS, CLARKE QUAY
PRICE: $18 PER TICKETS*ENTRIES ARE SUBJECTED TO SIXTEEN AND ABOVE ONLY!ALCHOHOL WILL BE SERVED FOR ALL AGES! :D
i have only 34 limited edition tickets left with me and i seriously need to sell them away. if you need those tickets, please please contact madeleine at msteow@hotmail.com or for those who have my handphone number, please call me.

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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MADELEINE TEOW MEI FANG !!!
you CANT leave us
we WILL hold you
we INFLUENCE each other can
we LOVE you la
paige raine trixie you =)

okies..
BLOODY HELL
the more you think i couldnt afford
the more ill BUY it
so what if you are my cousin
SCRAM
you so RICH
then buy all the things you want
you dont bear to spend your money
thats YOUR prob can
lalala
DONT need you yo bother about the price of the things i want can
even MUMMY cant stop me
who do you think you are =)

i WANT barcadi NOW
shit
im a ALCOHOLIC BITCH
woohoo
=)
MUMMY i know you LOVE alcohol too haha

OMG..HE IS SO CUTE CAN
ONE PIG WHO NEEDS HIS BEAUTY SLEEP
haha =)

the me is long lost in the deep blue sea

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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wEE..
had SOO much fun can..
i went so HIGH and spout NONSENSE haha
makin everyone think that im DRUNK
woohoo =)
BARCADI wont get you drunk
it MAKES you ADDICTED haha =)
qiao honey. a DRUNKER wont say that she isnt DRUNK.
haha im the JAPANESE trying to kill the GERMANY haha
i was the most normal girl among the four of us can =)
haha but i went so HYPER la.. haha
ive knew a few FRIENDS :

jeremy: woo hoo.. cool can haha =) stupid stunner haha.. say my passing sucks.. i kill you haha

nigel: cool m5 judge haha.. tall =)..

alvis: haha typical good boy look .. didnt knew that you were noctorious haha =)

charis: thnks for helping me to keep my stuffs.. haha =)

jacquline: i supposed i should spelled it like that?.. haha a sweet pie =) GRAND MOTHER haha

woo hoo..
my brother send us home at 12 plus
so SWEET of my brother haha
thnks kor kor.. haha =)
i love you.

BLUE ROSES, RED ROSES
so sweet can =)
and all thanks to you gals..
ive GOT my face with OREO haha..
but its FUN haha
my poor qiao.. she always get the most CREAM haha
sorry to ming xuan and pals.. troubled you guys so much.

STUPID DUMB ASS !!
i HATE toads
and a toad ran over my foot JUST NOW
EEIKK !!!!
DISGUSTING haha =)

RAINE,, my affair
do CHEER UP alright
although i might not know why those tears went rolling down
but sweetie please SMILE.
you look PRETTY when you smile.
i'll be here for you
take lots of care
MUACKS . loves

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, May 19, 2006

yeah,,
kor ,, you DIDNT disappoint me =)
i missed you =)
jian wen and wei jie..
haha.
WEI JIE [kor] thanks for coming back =)
i LOVED you guys to bits =)
kor,, i know ive let you down,
i know you still have confidence in me
thank you for being there and believing that ill BE back =)

i dont like you to START your steoro speaker
BLOODY HELL,
FCUK OFF,,
its damn STRESS UP already ,, stop GIVING ME extra pressure
get LOST before i start SCREAMING and becoming someone you NEVER knew.
so WHAT if you are my MOTHER,,
i KNOW you care at times BUT,
i HATE it when you DONT understand me
i KNOW what im DOING
i KNOW how badly ive done
i KNOW how bad ive change
just LET me do what i WANT
i HAVE my PLANS !!
i wont SMASH my own future can..
DADDY, you CARE , i KNOW
i KNOW brother and YOU are the one who UNDERSTAND me in the family
but i CAN never talk to you or share my problems with you
all i CAN was to tell you my DREAMS, thats it.
BROTHER, i know you KNOW my feelings everytime SHE started nagging
you KNOW how much i HATE it
you KNOW how implusive i am
PLEASE stop pushing me, i KNOW where is my limit
i will GO OVER my limit myself,
so PLEASE DONT give me pressure..
brother, you once told me..
walk my route,, do thing that i wont regret
im TELLING YOU NOW !!
i will walk my LIFE the way i wanted it,
i will FULFILL my dreams no matter what ive to go through
and i WILL never regret whatever ive done =)
that is ME,, your sister haha

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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FINE !!! one mark..
bloody shit,, i saw the IMPORTANCE of one mark.
sorry teacher,, LET YOU DOWN.
tears rolled down my cheek silently,
disappointed, hatred.
HOW STUPID CAN I BE.
i KNOW i can still do better,
i KNOW for sure the effcort put in are NOT enough.
i KNOW i cant slack anymore..
xiao tian ,, xiao tian come BACK..
get your RESULTS on track..
daddy HELP !!!! HELP!!!

okies,, YUWEN, and ah ma,,i apologised for my IDIOT attitude today
im JUST feeling sad..
sorry =)

went out with ER JIE, JANET, YUWEN, ZI YING to kbox at CINELEISURE...
haha HAD FUN.. =)
yi ge liang ge san ge si ge yin di an ren !!
haha.. DOU KE AI DE MEI GUI HUA !! haha
its really so FUN.
hmm has been so LONG since we went out haha
COOL. missed you guys =)

i hate the feeling of FALLING,
especially when i TRIED my best.
i hate to face failure,
i hate the lack of confidence.
i hate the feeling of HELPLESS
i hate the feeling of being HOPELESS
i hate to see DISAPPOINTMENT
i hate MYSELF more =)

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Thursday, May 18, 2006

DISAPPOINTED
DISAPPOINTMENT.

b4 or b3 for my chem
c5 for my add maths..
BLOODY HELL,, FUCK,, why couldnt i made less careless mistake
how STUPID can i be..
i put in effort,
i tried so hard
i KNOW ive let you down
KOR im sorry,,
and others im SORRY.
i noe this ISNT the ending,
its the STARTING, the MOTIVATION for me to work hard
i know DADDY you have better things in store for me,
i know you've planned things nicely.
i KNOW its time to stop all fun and be SERIOUS
daddy please give me the determination,
the wisdom i ONCE had
the concentration i needed
daddy please guide me through,,
i know everytime i had problems in my studies
i JUST need to pray,
cause i feel calm and steady after that.
so daddy please.thank you amen =)

i SWEAR i promised,, i will bring my RESULTS back,
i wouldnt let YOU down, *kors,you and them*
trust me.

you, im here trying so hard and yet that fcuking attitude,
sighs.. forget it. =)
i dont give a damn anymore.
i dont want to appear so hard up for the friendship
although i MISSED it. i knew i brought this upon myself
but i shall just let it be.
i NEVER like to bring my pride down,
unless to the ones i LOVE
so,,LET it be, LET it go.
i know you dislike me,, im not happy with you too,
do you think i fcuking hell like that attitude..
lols =)
its not going to affect me,
maybe i shall leave it and let you guys continue to see me as a BITCH.
it doesnt matters.

-never did i appear so messed up, i screwed up so many things in my life
how FCUKED UP can i be.
i used to salvage every loops in my life,
now,, ive learn to let it be.
im GIVING UP,
im BREATHLESS,
the ENDLESS RACE im running
be it trying to amend my life or chasing behind you
or trying to score well,
its all making me breathless.
im NOT the cheerful, innocent, kind me anymore
im NO longer the girl everyone knew in sec 1
im a bloody retard NOW.
ive never loved my life,
cause i screwed it up.
LOOKING back on things ive done,,
sinful,,
what goes around comes around.. haha

facade.facade.facade.facade.
retard.retard.retard.retard.

qiao honey.
cheerup kies
i wasnt happy with my results too
we'll work hard.
its not the ending but the starting.
so..we shall BUCK up now haha
take care and smile alright..=)

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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NORTHLAND OLYMPICS..

haha 4ea though we didnt win, but we tried our best and we have FUN =)
congrats 4eb haha =)

you guys rock la..haha

damn it,
i hurt my ankle again..and its bloody hell pain..
okies.. what ever..
went to play bball after school at 219,,
after that at 325..
haha,, played till 7 , wei ming, liang yi and me went to eat.
hahha..after that we went home.. lol

CHOW WEI MING,, i will find alot of SLIVER CAB and RED CAR PLATES then i'll knock your head haha =x

-the lead im having now,, playing bball.. woo hoo its just so COOL.nothing to worry, nothing to be bothered of.haa =)

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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hmm didnt blog yest.. lol.. i didnt went to sch haha =).. instead i went to play basketball haha..played the whole day till eight plus.. haha =)

i love the feeling of playing bball haha ..

hmm..

so many things running through my head,,
reminicise the past.
the past which was so SWEET,,
the past which i once MISSED.
the people whom i once LOVED.
everything seems like YESTERDAY,,
haha.
the past which i MISSED most is still the days im with >!ja,
one year plus of waiting,,
trying to find FLINGS to replace you,
letting a GOOD guy go because of you,
FINALLY, ive put it down =)
wee..
but i know deep down its like,, a PART will always be yours.
no matter who i LOVE now or in the FUTURE,,
your memories will still be buried deep in my heart,,
hahas,,
every relationship has its memories,, and ill keep them close,
looking back once in a while =)

-happiness is what i saw on all of your faces =)
-that is what i longed for..

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

okies... went to NP and shop for darling eke present haha
hmm HOPE you like it.. =))
after that we went ljs..haha eke blew her little cake there
and so MUCH laughters.. woo hoo
hmm after that went home... andrew eke and pals went to party world.. haha
woohoo..*cash prob* haha
lala.. sigh reached home and my movable steoro speaker switched on again..
NAG NAG NAG..but i dont CARE =)
hmm tried my best to sneak out.. lala..
went to 325.. with eric thomas and pals..
haha,, i MISSED those laughters we used to have..
those FUNS,, those JOY..
but i thank god for the laughter just now,,
i thank god that you guys and i were still the same..
haha =)..
HOME sweet HOME at ten plus.. haha =)

-baby,, i feel so happy,, +j!y5 +ey+ 6u!jeam n 6u!aa5..ahaha..you are so damn bloody cute la,, haha..i couldnt stop thinking of the expression you had just now.. haha.SOME WORDS ARE BEST TO LEFT UNSPOKEN -

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lala..

SHUT the hell up la..
a bitch calling another bitch ,,bitch
hahaha
you arent affecting me too
haha,, and do you think qiao hui and i wanna care..
lols.. its because we trusted you as friend,,
sighh ..
haha and me too regreted bring qiao to the party... sigh
find out whatever you want,,
i dont give a damn.. cause you doesnt matter
e'ke was right.. you were just ''using''' us..
HOW STUPID CAN I BE..

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING E'KE TEO SHI MIN =)

SIGHS.. exams ended..im FREE..but results hinders me..
okays..im BACK HOME now.. so EARLY typing my post.. woohoo
*its so unlike of me to get home so damn early*

sigh sigh...
i couldnt find common topics to chat with you anymore
i couldnt guessed whats on your mind anymore
hey whats going on,,i dont like the feeling
sighs,,but it wouldnt concern you in anyway
you are still you,, and your heart only have her.. even if she does not exist
i wouldnt be the one you love anyway.
baby but im still here,,
ready to be your support when you feel like falling.
i know how much it hurts to love your ex and to wait
baby ive been through that.. 2 years of waiting ended me up with nothing
so im still saying that bloody same old piece..
ni na me ai ta,jiu ba ta liu xia..
i'll walk away when i could no longer hold on.. when your world doesnt need my existence anymore.
baby ill do anything to return to go back to days when we messaged and chat.

everytime i hate myself
i will change,,
from good to bad,, bad to worse
sighs,,
bitchy,, slutty,, whatever...
is it wat i am now..
i feeling so helpless,, so lost
LOST in the lost..
i felt myself being so HOPELESS,, so gone case..
sigh...
come back.. i need my confidence back..
i need the wicked me out..
evil thoughts.. retarded actions.. i want them out of me.. sigh..
daddy please bring me back..
bring my soul back.

BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Monday, May 15, 2006

i missed bball
i missed joy
i missed laughters
i missed smiles
i missed craziness
i missed madeleine my mummy
i missed paige my honey
i missed raine my affair
i missed e'ke my darling
i missed girl girl my sweet kor
i missed jian wen my black kor
i missed zhi yong my beloved kor
i missed everything
i missed the innocent me
i missed YOU

paige: you were always here.. rain or shine.. thnk you my honey.. i could crap with you.. you understands me.. you know wat im thinkin.. thnk you..honey,... sometimes we might not like the one in our family.. but do remember no matter how ridiculous they are.. they still care.. cox blood is thicker than water =).. haha.. and honey im feeling so BOTTLED up.. sighs..

madeleine: cool down girl.. learn to take things in stride and you will feel better.. breathe in breathe out.. sometimes it beats me if daddy was there.. but at least i know i'll feel abit better after praying.. so mummy.. cool down and dont do thing rushly.. but no matter what happen.. raine paige and i will be there for you.. no matter how other says about you.. you will still be our dearest madeleine.. and thnk you for talking some sense to me too.. sighs,. I MISSED YOU,, haha.. jalan kayu.. magic guard combine forces with magic potion haha =) loves

raine: my affair.. hmm haha i dont know wat to say.. but do cheer up. and haha.. loves loves,, take care =)

e'ke: my darling..hmm you do understand me.. im so silly haha.. but i know its worth,,
honey i have my plans,, i know when to give up.. when to hang on.. dont worry.. haha.. remember till then i will hold on .. haha.. cox i believe in me and him.. sigh,, blessed me for such good friend.. you could always take in my sufferings and complaints.. thnk you.. loves

wei jie [kor] : hmm like i said.. somethings i couldnt interfer.. but do becareful and take great care of yourself.. we arent very close like others.. but kor i know you care and thats enough..i used to complain that you dont care.. but now.. i know you care.. and im really happy =).. kor you were the one that i treasured,, hmm.. remember promised.. hooked fingers haha =)

jian wen[kor]: further and further we get.. but my heart remains.. always standing by your side and for wei jie and zhi yong too.. i ll be all your grip.. kor.. it had been really very long ever since ive saw you.. i missed you so...i missed all the fun we used to have.. kor do you still remember our promise?.. haha.. take care =)) loves

zhi yong: my beloved kor.. i still find it so strange calling you your name.. my heart is still open for you.. come back.. i need you as my kor.. i need you to guide me.. hmm.. your style of caring for mei is so different from my other two kors.. but i know you care.. i know till now even though im no longer your mei.. you still care.. thank you.. =)..

you.. drifting further.. i haven been going out with you guys,, hey I MISSED YOU but refraining too.. i dont care what type of person you are.. ill still be here for you.. i know you wouldnt know.. so let it be,, hmm, i wasnt that kind who will go for it.. i wasnt that kind who will do things that i wasnt confident of.. so i kept quiet this time round,, i didnt meet you guys and ive been messaging less.. hha..but you are always on my mind.. hmm.. i missed those days.. really =) hearts you

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BLOODY HELL.. im SUPER TIRED..
i ACTUALLY dozed off while doing my PHYSIC.. omg haha
HOPELESS INDEED .. sighs
okies.. okies.. CARELESS MISTAKE.. damn it!!

arghh,, i feel so STRESS.. bottled up .. sigh sigh..
i want to DO well.. seriously.. ive STUDIED.. but why cant i have CONFIDENCE..
DADDY please make miracles.. you knew that ive put in EFFORT.. daddy i SO believed in you please dont make me LOSE trust..

okies.. fine.. hmm hmm..
PLAYED BASKETBALL just now..
and wtf can.. i HURT my finger.. sigh haha
HONEY cum MUMMY.. haha retarded lols..

played with a BUNCH of retards.. sigh,,
so GUAI LAN.. come on.. if you dont know how to play bball
dont fucking act that you know.. haha
you ARE making my toes laugh .. =)

okies.. i KNOW you dislike me.. for all that had HAPPENED,,
i WAS playing with HIM.. and i admit.. i wasnt SERIOUS too,,
im like using that CHANCE to break it off..hhaha a few months ago lol..
i DUN give a fucking damn that he is your god bro.. cox i dun fucking care,, =)
call me BITCH,, haha..
and DONT give me that FUCKING attitude of yours..
ill PUKE .. haha..one TIGHT slap for you =)
you think you are pretty?
you think you are cute?
bloody hell.. GET ALIVE TOO
i give him face thats why i didnt even want to GUARD you..
sigh,, although i really missed those times we went out.. but
everything change just because of that FUCKING wei jie..
and perharps me.. im no longer the one everyone knew.. sighs..

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

you were right honey,,
i chose it that way,, avoiding it
refraining myself.
i know im silly
i know it wont be doing me any good
but i just dont want to fall in deeper..
like i said,, till then ill hold on tightly.
baby,, i really missed those day,,
though it was just pure friends
baby it is sweet.
you never knew,, perharps now you thought i had let it go,
baby i didnt,, im still here hanging on to that hope i had,
i know you wanted me to let it go,
but im just a stubborn bitch who wants to be there for you
baby,, silently..though sometimes tears droping and heartbreaking
mentally tired,, physically aching..
but ill hang on.. i believe in my dreams,,
nothing could stop me.. and precisely nothing..
its decided,, unless i really couldnt take it.
baby,, slow down and look at me
you are too fast,,its hard to catch up.
CHASE CHASE CHASE,,
HERE HERE HERE

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hmmm..im BORED to death..
went shopping with mummy just now.. i should say its WINDOW SHOPPING
didnt talk much either.. lol

walk and walk.. lol went home at eight plus..
haha had a GOOD loud with charmaine jie jie haha *retards in the show haha*

hmm..i simply love that jeans..
-levi 593 super super low,, onethreenine.five
-levi ladies style,,oneeightnine.five

i like that addidas...
-jacket ,green or pink,, oneonenine.five
-shorts,, green,, fortynine

lols.. haha its hard to get it..sighs,,why cant i be RICH haha lol =)
i want TONNES of money and HAPPINESS =)

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i believe in you and me
i believe that we will be
in love eternally
well as far as I can see
you will always be the one for me.

i was walkin with you that night
you thought that I would take it easy
but, you were wrong
thats when I lost my heart.

before i met youI felt like a stone
on the side of a roadall cold and lonely
but then you came along and cured me
you made me feel warm.

you're all I wanna strive for and do a little more
you're all all the joys under the sun
wrapped up into one.

if you only know, what I feel for you
if you only lived for me
the way I live for you
i'd be in heaven, my dreams would come true.

when the shadows are closing in
and your spirit diminishing
just remember you're not alone
and love will be there, to guide you home.

i'll reach out my hand to you
i'll have faith in all you do
just call my name
and i'll be there

even though i try i can't let go
something in your eyes, captured my soul
and every night i see you in my dreams
you're all i know i can't let go

and how i wish you only knew
what i feel inside for you
you probably haven't got a clue
but i wish you knew,how i love you baby.

who else am I gonna lean on
when times get rough, who's gonna talk to me
till the sun comes up, who's gonna take your place
baby nobody else, we belong together.

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-taKing a Break =x

-my honey mummy =)

-unbelievable =p

-tenohfiveohsix ("v")

-simply retard =)

-wooHoo =)

-smiles from the heart <3

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Friday, May 12, 2006

SUPER DUPER TIRED !!! haha my LEGS hurt =)

hmm..it had been such a long time since i saw the both of you =),,
miss you guys loads =)
yup.. and thnks my sweetie wen wen for lending me some money just now..

hmm.. sorry qiao,, madelein and raine,...couldnt join you guys today .. hmm im so jealous.. i cant share the fun.. haha JOKING.. hmm take care

it wasnt my fault,
i didnt shout back
i merely couldnt hear what you were saying
cant you control your temper,
im sick of the *unhinted* temper of yours
its scary and its simply untolerable.
but when you are nice,
you are like an angel
mummy.. please understand.i know what im doing,,
please do control your temper..
brother and i couldnt take it any longer.
you never tried to understand us.. or perharps
we didnt put ourselves into your shoe.
mummy,, i know its hard for you to cope with all things.
i know you are stress. but can you stop
venting that stress and that anger on us
we are human too,..
mummy..i know you loved us,i know you care.
but at times the way you expressed your love is so hard to accept
those scoldings,, those naggings.
mummy at times brother and i do need a break..
sorry, we cant be perfect
cause you would never tell your friend that you had two perfect children,
you never tried exploring our good,
all you saw was our bad.
mummy, we need encourage too,
we love and we care but we dont know how to share.
imperfection was what you saw in us.

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sometimes
im just not contented
i want so many things
material and non-material.

how i wish i could be rich
i could have the jeans i love
the wallet i want
the beauty package that i longed for.

money cant buy happiness for the inner soul
how i wish i have a happy family
on the appearance it seems so,
but how much things are you hiding from us
tell me what i saw was illusion.
was a message from a stranger.
show me that you all care and treasure
show me that its worth.
give me the type of love i longed from you all
give me the courage to dream.

i want to soar
i want to fly high
i want endless freedom
i want to soar like an eagle
confidently and powerful
i want my sky to be my dream
the dream i painted every night
my love, my ambitions,

-take me away and soar with me =)

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baby,,your presence

made things seem so perfect

made my life so complete

made tears into laughters.

joys into sorrows.

sweet to bitter,

peace to chaos.

you made my life from good to bad,,

bad to good.

you gave me the feeling of loving someone

the feeling i have long lost.

you made me heartbroken too

tear my heart into pieces in a nice way

but no matter how you try to minimize the pain

baby it still hurts.

i realised you would never love me

the way you love her.

but im still so stubborn

i believe one day it would happen

i believe daddy will make miracles for me again

because i have faith in you.

loves

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WOO HOO !!!

hmm was damn FREAKING stress while doing my physics paper..
its SO hard =x
DOOM to fail =(

hmm went to slack at northpoint after school with JANET n NIKKI =)
haha yeap,, i am a FREAKO,,stop TEMPTING me to eat haha

was SUPER boring staying at home.. haah i went to meet JIA WEN mei mei and CHARMINE jie jie at bugis around eight plus.. haha..was SUPPOSED to shop for my jeans,,but we ended up talking at STARBUCKS.. =)
-crappy me
-silly us

went back at about ELEVEN..haha bangalas around me..*disgust* im a RACIST =)

qiao HONEY: relax and cool down.. maybe she doesnt means it,, dont jump into conclusion.. smiles.. nights and loves

madeleine: sorry sweetie,, wasnt able to make it tmr.. FORGIVES?.. im sorry..make up to you girls some day =)

sometimes i just couldnt understand why AH BENGS cant accept people being rude to them,,because they are AH BENG thats why,,PREJUDICE PREJUDICE..haha *no offence*

baby,,i'll be here for you,

for you to cling on

to be your support

if she wasnt going to return.

but if she returns,

i'll still be here silently

watching over you.

till when you needed someone

i'll lend out my hands

hold on tightly

and never let you go =)

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN MY DEAR MADELEINE =)).. sixteen kisses nn sixteen candles haha

i really had a FUN time today,, really did enjoy myself and thnks HONEYS haha =)
CHOCOLATE FACES and CHOCOLATE SMELLS,,weets =)) ahaha WOOHOO
iLL get my REVENGE on my birthday... haha=)
hmm CARPARK,, PERFUME,, BURGER KING,, BASTARDS,, LAUGHTERS,,5crazygirls hahah =)

after my DATING with my HONEYS,, i went to meet janet.. haha SORRY i was so LATE =) study physic.. oh ya.. haha im having my weakest subject tml and im here typing my post.. this so so WRONG haha,, hmm never mind shall study later..

ADDITIONAL MATHS.. i know the steps but i got a feeling that my answers are wrong *daddy please give me that confidence,, i cant let anione down.. DADDY PLEASE*

TRIXIE =)) loves this name to pieces haha... sound so unique to me haha..im getting abit out of my mind haha =)

`hmmm,,im still saying the same old piece,,if you love her..get her back..show her you care

i know how important she is to you..so put away your pride and get her back by your side..happiness is what i want to see from you =)

-i simply have prejudice against AH BENGS especially the both of YOUU-

im a RETARD
im a BITCH
im a MISSY
im a DADDY's girl
im a NERD
im a SADIST
im a FAKE FRONT

wat else YOU want from me =),,hahas..im simply me =)

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Monday, May 08, 2006

haha WEET..fun is all we had =))
thks GURLIIES.. loves =)
crappy us..foolin around.. haha.. talkin about everything under the sun
the FEELING was so GREAT =))
lets have more OUTINGS .. hahas..
hmm..UNEXPECTED
FCUK OFF BASTARD,, dont get into THEIR LIVES
who DO u think u are..
honey..wake up.. look..he DONT worth it..he LIED.. baby see =)

deyh.. my emaths,, haha left two proving question blanks..4marks flew.. hmm i know daddy wouldnt let mi fall.. i know he'll be there to makes things right when things seem wrong.. DADDY im leaving all in your hands..everytime i pray before the paper starts,, i feel calmness and confidence.. daddy i know thats the miracle you placed on me.. thank you !..i know you will grant my wish.. i know you will bring the xiao tian back.. daddy i know you will..cox i have ample trust in you =)

FRIDAY,,next SATURDAY n SUNDAY !!!.. misses you guys.. weets WE ROCKS LA !!!

-you are still the one i looked for... i chose not to go sometimes.. i tried so hard to reject,,but my heart flies to you everytime you called..everytime you messaged..its really amazing how you could replaced HIM.. i know it deep down that ill never be able to replace her.. but when i know you care.. when i feel the way your eyes met mine.. baby im contented..im happy..i swear i wouldnt let anione affect me like he does anymore cause im afraid already..so maybe the way we are now is good enough,,though i wanted you sometimes..haah..anyways..im beginning to enjoy the taste of single.. haha..its fun.. freedom n smiles though it might be lonely at times.. but my babes are with me =))

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

hahas..HAVEN been updating hees =x

okies.. im tired from STUDYING,,tonnes and tonnes of CHAPTER
GOD,please GUIDE mi through
GIVE me the wisdom =)
i KNOW you will answer my PRAYER =)

hmm..

THURSDAE: had my social studies and english paper...=( english was a KILLER..haha hopefully i can STILL pass..

FRIDAY: CHINESE..what the fcuk.. i didnt had the time to finish all..haiis.. but i know daddy will guide me through..he wouldnt let mi fall =)

SATURDAY: i went studying with yu wen brenda and june =)..weets haha.. ya peeps im crazy =)) hahas.hmm study hard and score well =)

TODAY: i wake up SIX in the morning,,study my chemistry till nine and i went back to sleep till TEN..study my HISTORY to one and i went to meet QIAO den we study till 6.. and then we went for dinner.. after that we went to cc and find hmm hmm =)).. *i just misses him* after that HOME SWEET HOME

eke darling: i haven been meeting you..sorry,, hey girlie i missed those times we chat on our way home.. we went shopping,, we play and fool around..girl we'll have those fun after exams kies?.. miss you SOO much

qiao honey: ka la deyh..haha,,missed you soo =)) hmm thnks for listening to my craps.. haha..fcuk la deyh.. *not for u*

aua!lapew: sweetie..i never thought that we could be such GOOD friends.. take good care of yourself..hmm see you SOON =))..ur advices were GREAT..

ronson: haha LONG LOST FRIEND,, yup im looking forward to the outing haha =).. thnks for lamig with mi .. weets ..YOU ROCKS

amanda dearie: hey... i missed you so =) haha yup hmm the indochine i might not be able to make it.. dont worry dearie i'll confirm asap..

kor *zhi yong*: i still chose to call you that.. i DONT care.. from the start till the end.. u would be my kor..hmm i know you still care,,, i can see i can feel.. thank you.. i missed the care and the times we had so much.. heart shaking,,tears droping for you... my BELOVED

YOU YOU YOU,, you were all i asked for in times of crisis,, when the moonlights shine
where'd you go ? i missed you so
i missed the MESSAGE days,, i miss the CHATTING on phone
i missed our FIRST meeting
most importantly,, i MISSED you,,

-i know im no longer that familar me animore.. drastic changes in me made people heartbroken.. i know i went back on my words.. i know i hurt people unknowningly.. PRIDE brings me down.. i dont know where to start,, i know i have to FIND myself back on the right track.. i juz feel so lethargic..hang on.. wait for mi..dont give up one me, i need support.. i need care..i need all of youu-

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Monday, May 01, 2006

YEA.. mos =)) weet.. alrite promised DARLIN AMANDA tat ill go fer it =) haha.. hmm went to meet QIAO nn we went studyin.. haha.. *headache* haha.. studied till 7plus den home sweet home =))..yups RICH HANDSOME TALL BRAINS hahas =x

-a bitch u called mi,, haha wat so ever.. do u think ur attitude is GOOD haha
-slaps if eu think so =))
-kies,,, insolent =)) hahas.. i dun gib a FCUKIN ass abt wat eu said,,
-i enjoyed bein a BITCH nn u cant stop mii
-hate mi all u can,, i wont hate eu,,cox it WASTE my energy..
-done n finshed with ya comments fer mi.. haha if YES get LOST.. if not,, pls cont =)
-nn i have my LIMITS so dun judge my limits,, hahas
-u are a bastard perharps too.. hahas.. but who care
-cheers fer xiao tiian,, a FCUKIN bitch overnite =)

[my graceful.. i being so bitchy.. but wat ever..it means NOTHING to mi animore.. no one is ABLE to stop mi except.. hahas..take it or leave it ppl.. scram off if you are unhappy with mi,, i simply enjoy the life im leadin =) ]

*its still there.. stagnent haha,,*

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okies.. im FEELIN tiired again.. had full LENGTH sleep haha =)).. twelve hours for BOTH dae.. haha.. but somehow im still tired.. haha *dead*

okies..i went on a STUDYIN SPREE with qiao on saturdae.. ahah..had inspiration moments in tha morning at SCHOOL..it was a kinda boring but somehow the videoclips were SAD..i remembered myself wantin to quit YLDP but time passes so fast.. im in YLDP fer around 3 yrs nn the memories are all so beautiful.. the INSTRUCTORS.. *wei quan,, fradey,,leslie,,ping wei..do u guys remembered SEC 3 CAMP?..its so UNFORGETABLE* *jasmine: u are the best facilitator fer mi..ive learnt alot* okies.. its been so long.. its like everything ended over night..hahas.. studied till 7 plus had dinner nn HOME swit HOME =))

wake up at around ten plus this morning.. prepared myself nn went to ahyi house =).. fell asleep at ah yi hse.. haha *too bored* went on a SHOPPING SPREE with mummie.. bought a JACKET,, a CONCEALER,, a SHIRT..haha =)).. went home and went out again.. i went to find EKE n PALS at 755 reached home at about eleven thirty =).. haha..damn HAN MING haha.. ill beat eu,, =))

*bitchiness is a GIRL's nature,,i agreed
*when a gal turns bitchy,, its HEAVEN hahas..
*im being REBELLIOUS,,im goin ASTRAY..
*im ENJOYIN myself,,the life im leadin..
*smashes everyone hopes on mi,,
*dun ever have ani pin of hopes on mi,, cox u would FALL
*im changin.. continuously changin to someone i dun even noe
*bitchier haha =))..but one thing hasnt change
*the hopes i have on u,, the 6u!laat i had
*call mi silli call mi stupid.. i chose this way
*hiding n facin,, haha,,i knew you saw my blog
*keep it in your heart the comments eu had
*i dun wanna fall flat again,,thnks

-oblivious,, more n more oblivious,,i began to be immuned to almost all things around mi-
-never TRY tokin sense out of mi too.. cox i noe my limits,, nn im STUBBORN-
-never TRY changin who i am.. unless u are the most impt in my LIFE-

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