Thursday, August 31, 2006
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
HAPPY TEACHERS DAY. hahas
hmm okay whatever. shall skip what happen in the morning ba
basically just performance and got to know mrs goh kinda better.
okays.
i dont like you to tell me how beautiful the clothes i tried were.
i dont like to hear your financial problems.
cause you wont give me the things i want
and i cant help you slove your problems. so.
im tired in hearing all the BULLSHYT
im tired of this family.
im starting to realise that im all ALONE
you all dont understand at all.
if i could fly now
i'll fly.
if i could leave now
i'll leave.
i know im unfillial i know im not matured
but am i the one to blame?
ive learnt not to demand
ive learnt just to heck care
ive learnt NOT TO MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS MINE.
cause through this way. i have lesser to care
i will feel better.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, August 28, 2006
boo.. i didnt go sch today
couldnt wake up
lalas
oh man
fat hahas
i just feel like blogging rubbish
i want everything to end faster
then i can enjoy laas.
lesner
thanks for everything darling.
the cake nice, hahas.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, August 27, 2006
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okays.. went out with that HONEY of mine yest
went to orchard tried clothes
hahas
the dress was cute cost$78.
oh ya qiao im gonna get it. and you owe me my bdae present!! hahas,
went to hollywood secret to pluck my eyebrow
the lady was so cute.
she asked, mummy allow me to pluck?.school allow? boyfriend allow?
hahas shes damn pro also la..
oh ya.. qiao and mad we'll go for the studio shoot after o lvl.. loves.
after everything. we went to harbourfront to find my stupid bitch mummy madeleine.. hahas
i shout MADELEINE TEOW MEI FANG and she was like AYE!! hahas
shes damn cute..
we crapped around. took picture. boxes.hahas
waited for her to end her work. and helped her pack things up.
AINT WE SWEET?! hahas
after that took bus back to yishun
FUCKING BUS.
bloody hell shaking can
and i feel like vomiting, hahas
after that i went to catch the GHOST GAME with lesner
hahas. you babi la.. hahas
i shouted.. hahas sorry.. hahas
yup after that we walked home.
hmm so thats end
CHANG QIAO HUI.
i went to slp mah so didnt send you the pic...
SORRY.hahas..
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
fucking hell..
i wasnt perfect in your eyes
he wasnt too.
sighs.
you sure we didnt think for u all.
YOU SURE I DIDNT GET ANYTHING FOR YOU?
I DID!!!!
oh ya.
i love branded goods SO WHAT!!
and i tell you im gonna get that sun glasses
you really pissed me off.
i used to have everything i want.
NOW.i cannot even get what i want. so im gonna show you that
since you cant get me what i want.
i CAN STILL HAVE WHAT I WANT!!!.
YEA. me and kor share the same FACE and the same FAKE.
but blame who?..do we only treat you good when we need money. RETARDS.
and if you wanna tell dad what i think about him
GO AHEAD.ITS THE TRUTH,
even if i got anorexia, its none of your business since im such a disappointment.
you are tired
dad's tired
bro tired
WHAT ABOUT ME??
im sick and tired of this FAMILY TOO.
so just stop the crap.
you say you would leave if you can find someone better and rich
GO AHEAD. i support you since he can give you all you want,
and to say this family wont die without you cause i still got brother
the only one who will die is him. you know why.
im gonna move it if i got the money!
im UNFILLIA. yea since all i done is nothing i see no need to be filial any more.
i wasnt perfect you all anyway.
FULLSTOP.
its hurts to hear all the words you said
it hurts to see one complete family shattered
it hurts to have everything in the end nothing.
it hurts when you all dont understand.
it hurts when i got no one to turn to.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Saturday, August 26, 2006
haha.. okays.. its bored
its now onetwoeight midnight.
and im still so awake.
dont feel like revising.so im slacking.hahas
hmm wei jie kor.. i missed you. hahas
just like that.
day past. hahas. i wasted my one day doing nothing. alamak. hahas
okay what ever
CHANG QIAO HUI.
you better come to my house before one tml.
u slowpoke.. hahas.
the days we used to share
things will never go back.
once the six of us.but i smash it all.
facade.
fragile.
IM AN EMO FREAK.
IM A HEARTLESS FREAK TOO.
LESNER. the cake smaller okay? later fat.
hahas
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
-Evanescence-
MY IMMORTAL :)
I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Because your presence still lingers here,
And it wont leave me alone...
These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase...
When you'd cried i'd,
wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd,
fight away all of your fears.
And i've held your hand
through all of these years,
But you still have all of me.
You used to captivate me,
By your resonating light.
Now i'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
''im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
im not missing u
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
i got lots to do
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u''
exactly how i feel.
im not missing you again and i wont.
i used to hate to see u go. to see u with her.
but now im senseless. i learnt the fact. its time to face the truth
ill nv be with you. =))
''Once was a time you and i
Made a promise till the day we die
I trusted each and every word
Never thinkin that I'd get burned
Silly me I believed in your fairy tales
Boy i thought that i knew you so very well
But you walked on my pride all the tears that i cried
And it cuts like a knife''
just too numbed since that time. boy you never knew.
Its not gonna make a difference anymore.
i'll never let that tears drop for you again
i'll hold my pride
i'll never cry
NO MORE.its gone. its in the past with the memories.
baby you are supposed to be gone
and im letting you go.
i'll never let myself fall flat once a again
i'll never go back on my words again
i SWEAR. i PRAY.
im moving on. NOW
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
i KNOW and learnt that
what mine shall be mine.
what DOES not belongs to me
will NEVER will.
sighs. im tired.
so tired.. works piling
head smashing.
DADDY, please give me wisdom
i pray in your name again.
DADDY, help me fulfill my dream. my future
amen.
prelims so near
im so scare.
you'll bring me through right
DADDY. i hearts you.
i know you no longer mean anything
i know you were gone.
and now
from the bottom i dont want you back anymore.
just numb.
i miss you honey mummy affair
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
i realised.
time pass by without you by my side.
i realised that day has to go on
i realised that i shouldnt be holding on anymore.
i admit that you were all that i ever wanted
i admit that you were the only one
yet i know that everything was just so impossible to restart
so why dont live with my life and live to the fullest.
our memories mean comfort to me
its something ill looked back to when i feel down
its something that i love to reminicise when i miss you
the pain im feeling is getting lesser
im beginning to reach out of the comfort zone
but all i ever wanted still
was you to be happy.
but baby trust me. one day ill be that GIRL NEXT DOOR
ill shine to the fullest.
i'll be more glamarous than i was
i'll make people envy me.
i'll show you. YOU DONT MATTER.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
i realised that i have not been updating.
OKAYS. nothing much these days.
its just about STUDY. oh ya met up with madeleine and qiao last week
it was so fun. hahas i love you guys,
RAINE LAU CHER SIEW!!! we missed you. when can u meet us.. haha. :)
i got back my add math results,
got a2 for paper one. but i think ill screw paper2.
sighs.
okays prelims coming right after the september break.
HELP HELP.
oh ya and i topped my paper 1 for english.
i was so happy can. but i know it was just prepatory so ill cont to work hard
i'll STRIVE and touch the sky
i'll make my dreams come true !!!
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, August 17, 2006
IM SIXTEEN !!! hahas
but i wasnt that happy
not because of presents.. wishes were enough.
but YOU didnt remember my birthday.
im just so not important to you i know.
kor you dont remember too. how sad was it.
but never mind,
thanks for all those who wished me. who bought things for me
i love you guys. hahas.
wo hao qi dai ni de zhu fu
wo yi zhi deng ni de jian xu.
dao le zui hou wo cai zhi dao
yuan lai wo shi na me bu zhong yao.
wo yao de bu shi ni hui lai
wo yao de zhi shi ni bu yao wang le wo men de hui yi
jiu na me jian dan
ni que zhuo bu dao.
wo de xin hao tong.
tong de yan lei bu ting de diao.
ai ni hao nan, dan wo que fang bu xia.
jiu zai jing tian ba dui ni de si nian dou ku wan
yi hou wo yao qu xun zhao shu yu zhi ji de wang zi
shu yu zi ji de tong hua,
yin wei ni bu shi wo de bai ma wang zi
ni zhi shi yi ge lu ren jia.
dan jiu rang wo shuo zhui hou yi ci de WO AI NI.
-i NEVER was impt to you. from the beginning.-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
er..
SCREWED MY EMATHS
what the hell.. do till i feel like throwing tables.. haha
okay.. turning sixteen soon
but my greatest wish will nv come true.
maybe it nv will.
hahas.
hmm hmm.
nothing much.
i just wanted to say.
IM SO TIRED.
whatever,
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, August 14, 2006
okay okay..
today teacher mentioned abt o lvl chi.
err..
not retaking any more
i shld be wasting 6 periods of lesson just for that one difference in grade.
i shld use it to revise on my phy.
hahas =)
eh HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOR KOR.
the crab makes me FAT can.
hahas. thanks anyway. loves
i still enjoy looking at your back view
i still love to see you smile
i still want to know whats going on in your life
BUT. i dont want and i dont have the courage to know
and to hear about YOU and HER.
everything in BLACK AND WHITE.
its not going to have a comeback.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, August 13, 2006
FIREWORKS!!!
went to watch fireworks with that STUPID QIAO yest.
haha.
hmmm. ya being human isnt easy,
and HONEY i miss you haha
okay we wanted to have dinner before watching the fireworks
BUT
the queue is super LONG can, so we ate after we watched the fireworks
ITS BEAUTIFUL
photo taking session too =))
after that we went back
on the train we took photos like no body business.. haha
okay okay.
reached yishun.
saw kevin asked him to acc us home
HE IS AN IDIOT.
we send qiao home
after that he said walk past YISHUN PARK
OMG. im so scare la
and nvm. i was like walking at the top of my speed can
IDIOT..hahas
okies really had fun yesterday.
beautiful evening, flawless fireworks.
today nothing much
i realised how selfish i was to say that ill end my life if i flunk o lvl.
i mean i mean
i really have no courage to face failure when i planned everything
daddy, im sorry to let u worry.
im just so sorry.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, August 11, 2006
im not at the least happy.
truely i aim i expected a one
but it turns out to be two.
i felt disappointed, i worked damn bloody hell hard
but...is this my limit.
or did i place my expectation too high.
why does some people dont have to study so god damn hard and yet they score so well
why is life so UNFAIR.
im tired. i feel myself in blood.
i dont know how to react. i held back my tears
but i cried at the end.
mummy you did not scold me.
i feel so weird. infact you actually told me that ive done well
is it true? arent you disappointed?.
im sorry if i let you down.
okay eng oral olvl today?
what the hell
it was hard
but anyway. i hope i didnt screw things up.
HOPEFULLY.
oh man shucks
tuition tml.. haha nvm enjoy enjoy..
-no one understand how i feel. im just too tired-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, August 10, 2006
im with the choco madeleine bought for me:) so much loves
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
im trying i mean i am really trying
but theres nobody seeing
it tears my heart into pieces
my eyes into tears.
i hide those words in my mind
the puzzle was impossible
once broken it wasnt mendable
i realised. i shld have realised long ago.
im tired
sick and tired of trying
when theres no one understanding
i shall remain this way
stop and end.
*i have to face the fact, i can never have you back, why.*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okay.. what so ever
im FREAKING tired
i said before im just contented.
yu wen
i really feel like trying
i really feel like telling out.
argh
FUCK YOU.
tears kept on rolling
none of you understand
i kept on hiding.
do you know how much it hurts.
dont say you do. I KNOW YOU DONT.
i will only let it go when you say out PERSONALLY
even though it hurts.
wipe my tears
take my hand
bring back my fairytale.
i LOVE you
i miss you
i NEED you
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
OKAY
was late for sch yesterday so intended not to go
hmmm i shall skip the parts when i meet yuwen they all
after that i went back to aljunied met up with kenny and pals.
hey thanks for the choco.
i meet zander nine at orchard
then went to find madeleine and we had FUN
woohoo.
we actually talked to some anoymous guy la
somemore he wasnt HANDSOME!!! haha
hmm i tried a mango skirt.. think i shall get that soon !!!
haha.
we saw ek'e and ji hui so we went to chit chat at STARBUCKS. haha
and so funny la.. oh dear we went crazy
hmmm after that we went back to yishun
they 'RAPED' me at mac can!!!
retard FREAKS jihui and MADELEINE!!! hahas
woohooo =)
after that zander and mad came to stay over at my place
as usual i was the first to SLEEP :)
ahaha. I JUST LOVE TO HAVE FUN.
oh ya had talks with zan just now.
cheerup ya.
life wasnt bored without you
the sun rises. the rain falls
life wasnt only about you
its about everything. everyone
but my world seems to lose some of its colour
BECAUSE OF YOU.
i changed to someone you dont know
alcohol my life,
i no longer qualifies for your love.
i began to face that you loved her.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
OKAY
was late for sch yesterday so intended not to go
hmmm i shall skip the parts when i meet yuwen they all
after that i went back to aljunied met up with kenny and pals.
hey thanks for the choco.
i meet zander nine at orchard
then went to find madeleine and we had FUN
woohoo.
we actually talked to some anoymous guy la
somemore he wasnt HANDSOME!!! haha
hmm i tried a mango skirt.. think i shall get that soon !!!
haha.
we saw ek'e and ji hui so we went to chit chat at STARBUCKS. haha
and so funny la.. oh dear we went crazy
hmmm after that we went back to yishun
they 'RAPED' me at mac can!!!
retard FREAKS jihui and MADELEINE!!! hahas
woohooo =)
after that zander and mad came to stay over at my place
as usual i was the first to SLEEP :)
ahaha. I JUST LOVE TO HAVE FUN.
oh ya had talks with zan just now.
cheerup ya.
life wasnt bored without you
the sun rises. the rain falls
life wasnt only about you
its about everything. everyone
but my world seems to lose some of its colour
BECAUSE OF YOU.
i changed to someone you dont know
alcohol my life, clubbing??
i no longer qualifies for your love.
i began to face that you loved her.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, August 07, 2006
bOOO HOO
i LOVE madeleine JOY TEOW MEI FANG to bits
honey i love the choco. muacks.
hmm..me and paige will get you the bikini asap.
madeleine.. we seem to have to some to talk even though we meet rarely
you seem to know whats bothering me
and gal i really appreciate you.
and stay happy okay.. remember whatever you have me paige and raine always
i got so much to tell you. so many words i wanted to say
but im just speechless.
i love you babe.
after meeting mad i went to meet lesner
AND LESNER STOP TELLING ME CHOCO is FAT.
SINS CHOCO IS NOT.
haa and ya.. i finish the choco.. haha.
ohh ya we watch CLICK
hilarious.. haha
my first birthday present wasnt from the one i want
but from my precious honey
hmm
a new beginning soon. afew more days
ill transform
ill let myself let you go
cause it hurts me so
i broken again and again into pieces
but you would never know.
all i ever wanted to say was.
thanks and i missed u so.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i do not wish
i dare not dream.
i do not look back
i dare not hope.
cause i know ill fall
broken to fragments once again.
surprise would nv come from you
its just all alone from the beginning.
i dont want
i dont want.
i dont know what the hell im talking..
oh ya went to find MADELEINE at center point today.. haha
SURPRISE?.. i missed you.huggs.
lake house was quite a nice show..will there be someone behind the time waiting for me?.
will there be someone at the other end of the world who loves me dearly
will my prince appear and bring me into the fairytale for a ending i always wanted.
im so incomplete.
ZHIYONG: you dare give me white rose ill KILL you. haha dont think you tall ar then can bully me.. haha.. anyway thank you :)
weijie: kor would you ever know. ever remember the day?.. i missed u so.
*give me the fairytale ending that i always waited,treat me like a princess*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, August 04, 2006
what the..
english paper was hard can
i dont understand the passage haha
and i actually dose off .. hhaha
HOW STUPID CAN I BE.
kinda moody.
tears rolled down yesterday.. i dont know why
im just tired
of anything of everything hhaha
suddenly temptation of hurting myself came back.
but i didnt do it.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like DYINGGGG..
i need a LIFE.
zhiyong: remember my roses ar.. or i KILL you and i dont want white roses...im not dead yet.oh ya i owe you present too.. hahas..
madeleine: bloody bitch!! where had you go.. i miss you like hell and you PSED me today can.. hahas.. i love you =))
qiao: HONEY.. its been so long i meet you already.. FUCKER YOU !!! remember?... i missed you..
weijie[kor]: wo super missed u can.. haha see ya soon..
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, August 03, 2006
if i could be like a hermit crab
I WOULD.
whenever im down i could hide into the shell.
i can choose to avoid or to face
but im just like a hermit crab
not strong enough to face.
i felt so inapproperiate to be here
i felt so unblend.
i felt myself breaking into pieces
fragments which i dont even recognised.
dont try asking me who i am
cause i dont even know myself.
im a girl filled with emotions
im a girl with no feeling too
im a girl with tears
im a girl with hatred.
im a girl so near yet so far.
i nv tried opening up
i kept on transforming
scary i felt.
but i want to shine.
i want to fly.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okay..
emotional. couldnt help it
perharps i screwed up my paper..
sighs
DEPRESSING.
a few more days. to be exact like 2 weeks?
my wishes:
a whole list. but i know it cant be fulfilled.
-16blueROSES
-16CANDLES
-topshop jeans
-addidas jacket
-studio shoot
-rollerblades
-puzzle of the six of us.
-the old xiaotian to be back
-ultimate results
-16 sea shells
-that gown by IS
-my world to be on the right track
-a clutch by topshop
-the little prince watch or levis girls style
-my birthday cake
-ultimate POOH BEAR.
*bold indicates that what i hope to come true*
oh ya. kinda feel like having alcohols. shucks.
any whatever on my horoscope.. take the first step.
haha so FUNNY aint it.. i cant take the first step cause the person wont be him.
he has what he needs now.. and im not the one.
*somehow i wonder is horoscope true*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
what does everything means?
what was i thinking.
im so confused.
im so depressed.
im just a nobody in this world.
not a person whom others would treasure
if that they wont forsake me.
im so unwanted perharps.
smiles?.
what was the definition of it?
i could no longer figure it out.
ive lost the ability to smile from my heart.
not a happy girl.
cheerful and sweet
strangers felt that way.
depressed and pessimistic
the true colours of my life.
i could no longer glow in others life.
okay.. what the hell was i typing
nonsense, whatever
i dont know what im thinking.
anyway..
*ru guo yi qie cong lai, hai shi yi yang ma*
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
okay,..
bloody hell... !!!!
e maths was hard la.. seriously haha =)
chem was alright la..
FUCKED. im so tired. haha
janet.
i know im stubborn
a bitch who doesnt wants to face the reality.
i know its impossible.
but wo zhen de dont like to hear things about them.
im awake. very clear.
i know he belongs to her
i know loving someone is wanting him to be happy
i was just making a remark that time.
i dont even know whats my feeling towards him now.
maybe he is just a shield i used to tell others when they ask me who i like?
or maybe its true..
i DONT KNOW.
-hui shi wo de shui ye na bu zou-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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