Tuesday, October 31, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANG QIAO HUI
HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEEPS!!
i dont know what to blog..
just had my chemisty prac
it was okay la..
hope i didnt screw it up and can score well
hmm one more week to o level paper.
DADDY please guide me through.
oh ya.
madeleine, hmmm jia you okay?.. hahas
-you will never be there for me-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, October 27, 2006
i kept crying the whole of yesterday night
it was you that i cried for
im silly
im really overjoy when we chat
but the enthu that you showed in knowing who i have in mind
made me feel like telling you that im still waiting.
boy. i cant tell you who i love
cause i cant put our friendship at risk
and i cant think abt all this now.
boy. it doesnt makes any difference
cause you got her. unless,
boy. when its time to say, ill say.
if not. maybe after this year ill be able to let go.
boy all of a sudden i miss our past,
i thank you for acknowledging me as your EXgirlFRIEND,
thanks for talking to me. maybe that is our last conversation?.
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear all my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you now, still I miss you somehow.
"Baby," I said, "please stay.
" Give our love a chance for one more day
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what my love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams, through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end
You promised yourself,
but to somebody else,
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
oh my GOODNESS!!!
i actually ate so many food today
what the
im feeling GUILTY NOW
how i wish i could be ano
arghh.. hahas
i wanna throw out all my food
eeik
arghhhh
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, October 26, 2006
im feeling so much like crying.
my heart seem just to be bleeding.
all i used to have
all i lost.
sighs.
Packing up the dreams
God plantedIn the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone'
Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say "never"'
Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not to long to live as friends
With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone'
Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
-to all my friends, take care pals and all the best for your o
4ea is part of my life. thanks.-
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
.Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,I
'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
i'll stand by you.Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by youI'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you Take me in into your darkest hour and
I'll never desert youI'll stand by you
* specially for my besties. raine mad qiao. i love you guys to bits. *
Time passes, the world's changes
But i'm still the same ole' kid
and your jokes still bring me laughter
As if you still were here
And it hurts, when i smile'cause my heart still remembers
when you were around
* 'cause you were there
when no one wasjust when I thought nobody cared
you showed me love'cause you were my friend
you always told me
and i am still here because you were there
So precious, small treasures
A time when truth was innocent
True friendship, was all we were after
A place where kids could still be kids and it hurts, but i'm glad'
cause at least i was blessed to have you as my friend
You're my bestfriend
And there are no accidents
God has a plan for everyone
And he brought you in my life
To show me what a true friend was.
*to my four year bestie JANET :)
thanks for all your advice and tolerance.i love you babe*
light the corners of our minds
misty water colored memories
of the way we were
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another From the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tel me would we? Could we?
Memories
Can be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget
For its the laughter
We will remember.
-the memories once shared will always be kept-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okay im feeling so pressurized
HELP!
im so afraid after all my hardworks
everything will just go down the drain
im so scare that ill let you guys down.
whats happening?
im losing my confidence in this battle
im so afraid
god bless.
im beginning to hate you more than you dislike me.
the appearance of you infront of me make me wanna give you one tight slap
hey.
dont act like you are some sort of big baby can?
the fact to me is.
i might be a BITCH to you but you look like one low class ah lian to me
or should i say an ah lian trying to act high class?.
i might miss the times we share
but my alter ego is telling me to dislike you.
maybe in a few years time.
we are just STRANGER.
everything will end this year. and thats it!
i might end up missing the days the six of us used to share
i might have times that i really regret.
but since ive changed. what more can i do,
im myself. so what the bitch is me!
i dont give a damn :)
im sick and tired of the changing tides
im just contented with raine paige and mad by my side
it might be a blessing, a relief for us right?
i believe you guys never miss the days we had right?
its all my wishful thinking right?
im not someone who will start the ball rolling
im not someone who will try to resolve everything
im used to letting things be the way it is.
im not a girl who can face failure
im someone who holds my pride so damn high
the only time i put aside my pride was the time i asked him to stay
after that. i will never put down my pride for anyone.
i do have the intentions to try to resolve the knots between us
i do have the intentions to start all over
but im just so sorry
my pride too high, and i chose to let nature takes its' course.
a million of words i wanted to say face to face, but i know no one will hear me out.
some times i wanted so much to blend in, to feel the closeness the sistership again
but i know it will NEVER BE POSSIBLE
i thank you guys for once tolerating me
i thank you guys for the once memories so beautiful
i thank you guys for the shoulder and helping hand that once pulled me up
i thank you guys for everything
and i wish you guys all the best.
will time bury our hatred and hachet?
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
PHYSIC PRACTICAL.
i felt that i almost DIE !!!
sighs.
arghhh,
ate alot alot
cause i just feel like eating
now im going to puke soon.. hahas =P
sighs
sigh sigh,,
a zillion sighs.
help help
a thousand whines.
cry cry
a river of tears.
-sighs-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, October 23, 2006
im bored
not in the mood to study today
but i felt so guilty
NEVER MIND. i shall get back to my books after i blog.
i was just thinking
looking back on past memories
past friendships. moments me and them had
past relationships.
a sudden fill of emotions ran over me.
How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me.
How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me.
I tried to kill the pain.
But only brought more. (So much more...)
I lay dying,And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My wounds cry for the grave,
My soul cries for deliverance.
Will i be denied?
Christ, tourniquet,My suicide...
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Saturday, October 21, 2006
ARGHHHH..
i HATE you
your dear is more impt than your mei mei
okay FINE!!!!
i will never message you anymore.
and i dont think we are like kor and mei anymore right?
bullshit you !
now i can cleary see who are the real brother by my side
arghh
wei jie. zhi yong. lesner is my good friend cum brother,
YOU?!
arghhh
i feel so hurt
do you that, tears sprung out when you say stop messaging you?
hey . look. i just trying to contact you because it has been long since i saw you
and hey isnt it great for a mei to miss a kor?
oh ya..
maybe now i know
i was never what you treated as a real sister
im just your gan mei by name.
so silly of me.
arghh
okay whatever.
lala =)
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, October 19, 2006
someone complains my post is SHORT
CHANG QIAO HUI . i can bother to update already very good.
haha i miss you.
hmm. i went crazy over the princess hours
it made feel so much like wanting to be in love.
awww.
i keep dreaming about LU the whole day.
touching scene. hahas
okay enough about gong.
i guess ill wont be able to sleep if i cont. hahas
why does everything seem to be so dreamy.
like a dream instead of reality
baby what if now i tell you that ive still not been giving up
baby would you return?.
i know you only care about her feelings and not any others.
but do you remember those promises?
baby im sorry
i wasnt suppose to be missing you
going round about you
im sorry.
loving someone needs courage
so does letting go.
im just so afraid that if i let you
you would be gone.
i will not be able to even see you for once
or you were nv by my side all along.
am i still pinning hopes on you
or im just placing everything too high?
the relationship i yearn for
PERFECT.FUN.
maybe im just waiting for the right one.
maybe it was you all along?.
i dont know what is going through my mind
craps im blogging.
what the fuck.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
hmmm.
im always going through emotions
up and down.
past and present.
i dont know.
what my reaction meant
i dont know why ill avoid you
i really just dont have the courage to face you
im such a failure.
im sad. all of a sudden i feel so down
so stressed up every now and then
tears roll down when i think of you.
i wasnt suppose to look back on the memories
but irresistable.
madeleine said. there are seven other people on earth that resembles everyone.
means that there are seven other people who look like you.
will i meet them somehow?..
haha but i want to meet that LU in princess hours.. hahas =)
i dont know how..
im so afraid
im supposed to be concentrating on o
but my heart dont seem to be
DADDY please give me concentration
amen.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, October 12, 2006
okay.. i shall blog !! hahas
lifes been the same for me
study study.
18 more days?.
im so afraid.
hmm i find singaporean kinda racist nowadays
im included too.
hahas
sighs. i find that i could nv blend with you all anymore.
i can never be close to you all anymore.
whatever,
maybe it was what i deserve afterall
sighs.
me is a big mistake.
im holding my pride too high.
i would nv lower down my pride and ask for forgiveness,
a lion can nv submit to its defeat and mistakes.
i wanted to ask for forgiveness. but im just too proud
i now ill regret but i just couldnt do it.
its like killing me to bring my pride down. sighs
just be it.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
hallucinating or reality?.
i dislike you, i didnt show it
but do you have to make it so obvious?
facade front infront of you?
SO WHAT!!!
your face make me feel like you so much deserved a beating.
im evil. im a bitch so what?.
oh ya i cant wait to leave this school
i cant wait for a change of environment.
im not someone who will stop and look back
whine and cry and being so wishy washy
im a girl who keeps on moving forward
who can continue with my life. make new friends
but memories do stay.
its part and parcels of growing up
leave and learn new things. know new faces and of cause adapt to change of environment.
im so pressurized.
i guess i need a psychologist.
i feel like im always hallucinating about things which might not be real
i feel that if i didnt revise for one day i would die.
i dont know whats wrong
but im so afraid.
im just so scare.
what should i do?..
DADDY.
in your name
i pray for wisdom
i pray for calmness
i pray for protection from the satan
i pray for everything to be fine.
AMEN
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
hmmm..
met up with raine paige and madeleine yesterday.
study study study.
even if im not in school. all i do is still study.
nvm i shall just struggle my way through this few weeks
and IM FREE !!! hahas.
i dont know why i just dont have the confidence i used to have in my studies anymore
im really scare what if i cant get into the junior colleage that i aimed.
im feeling so stressed up.
okay whatever.
im going back to study already.
tataz
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
