Wednesday, February 28, 2007
watched JUST FOLLOW LAW today with madeleine and jeff.
it's funny yet the meaning behind this movie has deep impression on me.
a father feeling guilty for not being able to support his daughter
a daughter feeling sad for not treasuring the mother.
both only realise their faults when they switched body and tried to adapt to each other's life.
would you ever feel sad for not being able to really support me?
would you ever be like the father in the movie, learnt his mistakes at the end?
would you ever feel inferior when all your friends are working and they are able to not depend on their child?
would i ever come to understand and appreciate certain things that you all had given me?
would i ever treat you all because i love you all and not due to responsibility?
alot and alot of things crossed my mind. you all love me, i know.
but somehow, i couldnt accept certain facts.
my apology.
the purpose of love
was once so clear.
to stay happy and true forever.
as days pass by like never,
the purpose of love seems to disappear.
hatred and tears start to show.
yet, why do people still choose to LOVE.
i reserve part of my heart for the memories of your love.
i reserve part of my mind for the love we once shared.
i reserve part of my life for the return of your soul.
and yet, your love is like a knife
pierced my heart more than thrice
withstanding it with all my might.
and now,
boy, it really too much.
and so i had no choice, but only to reserve my heart and my mind.
my life, too precious, couldnt take it any longer
and so, i deserve someone better.
yet boy, still i love you for now.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007
hmm. oh la la
i went for naval piercing hahas.
i thought it was going to be god damn pain.
but it wasnt la =)
the guy was damn funny. i didnt even know when he pierced my naval, i was laughing all along. hahas.
hmmm.
okay after that went over to 325 to meet qiaoey and fangey, hahas
played bball.
woohoo.
and sha la la sha lala.
craps. haha
chit chat under my block. haha
replenish dagger, haha =)
school was pretty fine.
class bond. haha
im gonna miss the current PO4.
sighs.
oh i made a scene in class today,
haha woke people up from their sleep,
laughing, haha
was god damn high. hhahas.
how i wish the first three month will never end.
a friend made.
is a friend always.
-everything will have to bid goodbye someday, but the process of meeting will stay always-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, February 25, 2007
hello people. okay so this blog is with my picture cause i havent get hold of hers.
oh and anyway, trixie and paige! i lovey you! (: thanks for standing up for me. (:
love you love you tina tian-ey!
smooches! haha! (:
i thank god for being blessed with friends like the two of you! yayness!
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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okay,
was suppose to go to my teacher's house yest
but mummy wants me to go to ah yi's house.
so yeap. i went with her,
slack at there, did some homework. haha
my nephew is damn cute la.
he wants me to feed him. haha =)
okay no photos of him,
sigh, my phone spoil.
i wanna get a new one. !!!.
after that went over to orchard for chingay
but ended up walking??. hahas
then back yishun, watched protege with wai dek.
the show is about drugs. yeap
drugs suck la =).
oh man. i wanna watch hannibal rising, haha.
okay, now im going to waste part of my post to scold this bloody low class BITCH.
adeline LEE or i should say ADELINE ZHUO???
you are god damn thick skin, come on wake up la.
you called yourself adeline zhou?? when andrew didnt even agrees that you are his WIFE?.
and come on, arent you cheap??
you dare to say that you are NOT?. slap you.
who was the one that kissed with a guy so passionately in club, who was the one that sleep with francis when she only know him for a day?. and who was the one that become andrew's girlfriend when she only know him for 3 days?.
hahas so who is the cheap one?? :)
and PLEASE, GET THIS INTO YOUR PEA BRAIN !!!!
MADELEINE TEOW MEI FANG WILL NEVER BE INTERESTED WITH HIS FAMILY'S WEALTH WHEN HER'S IS SO MUCH MORE !!!
and girl, i guess you are the one over his money. since you said lawerence has much more to give, why arent you with him?, cause he has NO CAR? haha =)
what a materialistic typical GIRL.
and so nice eh?. paige and madeleine FORCE you to return money??
haha come on, stop trying to sow discord. its not WORKING.
so what if you manage to get madeleine out?, she deserve something better, BITCH.
OH MAN, you said you treasure the friendship?
come on, dont try to act pity, no one will believe you. if you treasure you wouldnt be so scheming. :) and your friendship MEANS NOTHING TO US.
fancy be so thick skin saying that madeleine is your sister? come on.
when we didnt even admit we are her bestie., who are you to admit that?
wake up from all your DUMB FACTS.
stop all YOUR DUMB ACTIONS.
and your discount doesnt means anything to madeleine alright?
and please get that stupid pea brain of your's to be in order before you try to sow any discords.
BITCH.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, February 23, 2007
whatever.
im sick and tired of trying to argue
you all will nv listen to my words.
immune to my feeling
what a nice parent i have,
i have to pay for my own school fees?
what a nice joke can !!!
what the fuck.
and you,
have the cheek to say that i didnt ask if you have money
wth.
all you all care is MONEY,
and please i didnt give you all attitude.
by the way, you all dont deserve my respect can?
i hate you all
simply hate
i feel like crying but not sad.
im just very angry.
angry and disappointed and ashame,
YES, ASHAME.
i dont want all your explanations.
cause to you all, what ever you all do is correct,
and IM WRONG.
kor said he wants to move out,
cont treating me this way
and i'll GO with him.
without me, you all will be happier isnt it?
i dislike YOU ALL, especially YOU.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007
okay. woke up at twelve today,
watched dvd,
was supposed to go to jie jie's house, but it was cancelled at the end,
so went out with ji hui
went to city hall
getting that guess wallet tmr.
after city hall, we went to queensway
wanting to find my shoe, 'adidas ss2g'
but the shops were closed
so went back to yishun
binpei and brenda came to find us at northpoint mac.
and now home sweet home =)
why am i getting so long to let go?
like someone said, cause the best of things are the things that you cant get?
but i dont feel so.
i feel that cause ive did so much things for him and he didnt give me a proper reason for the breakup.
thats why im holding on.
do i really have to talk to him? to clear things?
im not afraid of talking to anyone, but im just afraid to face him.
sometimes i would rather remain here in silence then let go eventually.
he isnt the best among the rest,
but because of an unanswered breakup,
the past drags on.
clearly i know,
who treats me best, yet i know i hurt him so.
he was the first guy that ever cried for me,
he was the first that done so much for me
yet just because of my stubborness and fickle minded,
we parted.
then friends we were not.
cause you said, being friends brought back too much memories and you couldnt let go,
then i know, ive hurt you so.
never did i once go back to you,
not because i dont want. but because im waiting for an answer,
im not worth your love.
only when the answers came,
then my heart will be dead for him.
okay. nonsense im typing.
-what will be, shall be.-
-regretting is of no use.-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
NEW YEAR'S EVE !!!
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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FIRST DAY OF NEW YEAR
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okay.
this was supposed to be yest post. hahas.
went to grand aunt house, played poker.
the whole place was like a gambling den, hahas.
no win no lose i guess. =)
oh ya. and my cute little cousin, he is only three i think.
and GUESS WHAT!, he actually pointed middle finger at us. hahas.
a small rascal indeed.
took some photos with my cousin, shall upload in the next post.
went home at eight plus, madeleine came, and we went over to qiao house, then to northpoint
intended to watch movie, but the tickets were sold out,
so in the end, we end up slacking and cam-whoring. hahas =)
took photos with cig, hahas. but relax, i didnt even try, =))
at abiut twelve, we went over to 637,
slacked at the playground again.
THEN, this malay lady walked over and ask if we can send her home.
she fell and sort of like fainted, but she was able to stand up and walk the next moment.
it was damn scary,
we assume that she might be having the after effects of taking drugs, if not, then she might be under cold turkey treatment.
after that han bao qiao and maddy send me home.
THANKS PALS =)
today,
woke up at ten,
watched dvd.
then my cousins and grandma came over.
chit chat.
then went over to qiao hui house at around six plus.
had steamboat,
then went to northpoint to meet lesner.
watched NORBIT.
super funny. its worth the money.
then we went over to jason's place.
yong long, WEIJIE, bear, regina, joshua were there.
played black jack.
i manage to win my money back at first, but lost in the end when i was the banker,
super unlucky.
i can only be player but not a banker. hahas,.
hmmm. went home at three plus.,
thank you lesner. =)
lastly, i'm infront typing this post NOW !!! =)
-if i really have the ability to change my destiny, then is thing what things should turn out-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS !!!.
sigh
first time in my seventeen years my mummy wasnt in singapore to celebrate cny with me,
sigh sigh
i find it so weird.
okay. today was quite fun,
oh man,
i lose twenty bucks i think.,
hahas, no luck man, -__-
and people kept saying i look more and more like a little girl.
what the, hahas
i like this type of family gathering,
laughters and joy,
oh ya and my dad didnt went for reunion dinner,
hahas,
maybe like what kor and me assume.
he is too ashame to face everyone. =x
im sick of this family. sigh.
-if you gave me one chance to tell you how i once believe, i would hold your hands and look into you eyes, then you would know, i would never let you go-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Saturday, February 17, 2007
ok. so long never blog
im just too lazy.
nth much besides study and playing?. hahas
okay bitching going around too, sigh la.
whatever it is, who's right and wrong doesnt even matters
cause the truth has been distorted.
just remain as it is. and hmmm, all the best okay?.
okays. valentine this year was kinda bored and normal.
spent it with mummy, went to shop around,
yeap thats it,. oh mummy is in new zealand already
mummy I MISS YOU.
sigh.
pon jogathon today,
went back to NSS.
i miss you people can.
after that went to orchard
saw linette trud pru martin weijie ernest clarissa.
bought heels.
went to bugis meet idy ray jog
then back orchard.
arghh whatever.
and im back home now.
and and i still want my levis jeans. woo la la.
madeleine TEOW. you scare me totally la.
but anyway glad that you are ok now
and dont think too much
i miss you babe.
qiao i miss you too la.
its gonna be cny soon, but yet i feel nth this year,
not at the least excited, wth can,
i hope that everything will be fine.
a new year marks a new beginning,
and sigh i believe when god closes one door he will open another one.
since my SAJC is gone. but nvm ill work even harder.
bless me eh,
im feeling tired, of everything.
im even straighter than a ruler can,
i will nv be in love with you. NEVER EVER.
i'll continue to love the one i used to if not look for my prince.
wo zhi xiang ai ta, dan shi yan jing zai shuo huang.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
sigh. haven't been blogging
cried alot that day,
the RESULTS day.
sigh. i didnt do well
i disappoint people.
whats more.
my future
i worked so hard for it
yet, time and time again
i let so many people down,
what is this.
im tired of it.
i never once get a c for my human
and FUCK ! thats e first time can.
if not i can be in sa already. sigh.
yjc or tpjc or mass comm?
mummy said i did well
daddy said its okay
people i know i let you all down
but why why you all dont want to scold me/?
i'll feel even more guilty this way. sigh.
but now
crying dont even make a difference
i have to MOVE on.
okay. yest was cvd.went down at 8 plus for bball match
then help out at the stall awhile.
talk and take photos.
sigh.
time seem to be passing real fast
no enough for us.
sigh. people time in yjc will always be kept alright.
i love you peeps.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Friday, February 09, 2007
sigh. its only 9.47 am. hahas
okay.
pon sch yest.
met ji hui and we went shopping
shop at bugis and then orchard.
lol. while going home. we were being stopped by some california fitness people
and he claimed that we should give him a few min to finish talking.
so we did.
but he talked till like for an hour?.
wth., hahas
okay the club is BIG. so the price is NICE =p
i'm feeling scare. scare that i would disappoint people.
sigh.
alot of people said i would leave yjc.
will i?.
but if i do, people do miss me ar. hahas
i feel so bottled up.
like as though its killing me,
will i get to see you?.
i think i would
but SO, im just thinking too much.
madeleine,
dont apologised cause i nv blame you before
and girl, trust me i'll be here when you need me alright?
my stupid bitch.
hopfully i wont disappoint you babe.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Monday, February 05, 2007
okay,
whatever this is
i seriously fucking hate this life
this family.,
stop asking money from ME.
fuck. fullstop.
okay training
sian. physical. hahas.
okay ended at eight went to meet mad and qiao
woohoo
i miss you all can. hahas. love love
fucked up life
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$5 Tequila shots + one4one n other FANTASTIC drink deals.
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for more info contact:
trixie. 92230570
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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Sunday, February 04, 2007
walk away , go away
you all dont care
stop saying you all do
cause to me and kor
you all JUST DONT.
hypocrites.
i know i shldnt say that.
but please,
wake up and see
kor cant support you all .
he needs a life too.
please la. THINK can
especially YOU.
do you think that you have that type of LUXURY
to retire early?
I USED TO LOVE YOU
but now,
I LOOK DOWN ON YOU,
i mean IT.
i hate the way you all ask him for money
i hate it when you all say that you all care
i hate everything in this family.
thats it. FULLSTOP.
i once said i return home cause i have to.
till now its the same.
i sense no BELONGING.
i feel no love, and thats it.
failure. what a failure.
mean i am.
so what?.
its a fact, i aint lying,
unfilial i may be.
you all force me to me.
whats left in me?
nothing but an empty shell.
i tried to run out
but no where to go.
dont wanna land you all in trouble
so i take all e sorrows.
pity i had on bro
he has to shoulder everything
shameless dont you all feel?
but i do.
what a family i had?
what parents i deserve?
heart broking everytime i think of this
almost shattered family.,
if kor wasnt here, i guessed i might have just disappear.
a home without love
a home without joy
whats a home without happiness?
think through what i said.
think through all your act,
why do we deserve this?
and why do we have to?
i really dont like it this way
just take me away.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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okay. haven't been updating for quite some time.
hmmm. went out to study yesterday with zheng yang and jihui.
stress can. sighs.
afew more days to the release of o level results.
heart-pounding, what if i couldn't make it.
what if. all the what if. sighs.
i seriously hope to get into SA. but sound so impossible hahas.
YJ isnt that bad though,
the bball, the people. sigh couldnt bear to leave,
but do remember me if i'm going to leave.
time pass,
one month already,
bonded abit.
hard to part, misses in the heart.
memories of the seven
kept closely like never.
laughters, sorrows
all that we shared,
will follow us everywhere.
pru,tian,pauline,ji,dydy,tru,nette.
janet,fang,pei,wendy,wen
the misunderstandings we had,
the tears we shed
the laughters we had
bonded us tightly,
broke the bond
silly i may be,
tears that rolled
dried up already,
hope to go back
hope to see
open arms will there be?
bury the hachets can we?.
ladyloves,
no news from me,
misunderstood by you all
neglecting my fault,
my deepest apology,
forgive me.
take care and will we
catch up some day.
i really do miss.
my sincere misses.
emotional i had been
tears kept flowing endlessly,
my heart had numbed
my blood had been frozen,
i feel no pain.
i feel no joy.
temperature rising,
anger raging.
what had happen
someone save me.
smiles on the surface,
oh how facade can that be,
bleeding in the inside,
how sad will that be.
no one can ever understand
i can never open up.
sick of trying
tired of crying
a living zombie
cold and fake.
what a life
what am i.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
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