Friday, March 30, 2007
internet down for the past two days
damn sian, so im using wireless for the moment haha =)
okay.,
pretty fine.
hmm had training today.
10 runs in total.
played match. haha
and annoucement for college players.
okay didnt expect. really.
must work doubly hard haah.
jiayou to everyone. hahas.
okay
been quite obessed with JUST SO YOU KNOW BY jesse mccartney. hahas
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
-quite emo. haha but its nice, reminds me of my stubborness. whatever.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, March 26, 2007
training today.
it was fun. and yeap. haha.
leg pain ar.. pe and training on the same day =.=
okay.
i dont know what to blog.
mixed emotion?/.
oh ya and during math lecture today, i was sitting with pru
and we both became emo.
we miss linette and others. sigh.
i swear we almost cry out that instant.
oh ya.
and im so crazy over my eyecandy =)
weee. he is damn cute la. but he will never know that he is my eye candy
cause it is FORBIDDEN =).
oh ya and anyway
eyecandy dont equates to someone you will like.
hahas. =)
my taste is like what Bill said, weird. haha.
broken peices of my heart
when will they be mended.
how can they forgo him
and rewrite a new fairytale
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, March 25, 2007
okay.
i practically fell asleep while doing my pw yest. haha
woke up at 6.40. off the computer and went back to my dreamland.
whatever.
had breakfast at ten, with mum and dad AMAZINGLY =).
grandma came with wei xuan. that cute little cousin of mine,
he is so naughty la. but he is my favourite.
haha. i scolded him 'huai dan' he replied 'ni shi ben dan'
haha. what the hell la.
after that met alvin at yishun mrt and headed down to bishan. met ah shun.
then the three of us went to library.
did some research. got myself two books haha. =)
then went to do homework at mac.
after that walk around then HOME SWEET HOME.
came across this poem while reading the book about nelson mandela
human beings suffer
they torture one another
they get hurt and get hard
no poem or play or song
can fully right a wrong
inflicted and endured.
unsure of alot of things
your image still lingers
so heck care i may be,
somehow i care deep down.
people keep saying im silly
move on will you? they asked
yes, im trying. i said
somehow they can see,
here i am still. waiting for what once not answered.
sometimes silly questions pop out,
who knows he will be touched.
touched by all that i had done?.
who knows he still care.
BUT i know, these will never happen
if i ever were important.
because if i am, he wouldnt let me go.
wake up and stop dreaming ! they said.
i know i know, but... i replied.
speechless everytime.
maybe yes I am dreaming. because i trusted you. so much.
too much that in the end
the smile is gone,
she is lost.
till now, she never did place her heart in any relationship
she started them because she knows she would be loved.
but yet the one she love is you.
she kept everything deep down inside.
with just tears flowing every night.
all that she has done,
you will never know.
BECAUSE YOU NEVER CARE,
and IT DONT MATTER ANYMORE.
just how many times had i contradict MYSELF.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Saturday, March 24, 2007
okay.
was feeling god damn bored today.
so went to school and met shopie then we played bball.
after that went for movie TMNT with alvin gab eddie.
the show not bad la.. action pack, ahhas
hmm after that shopie alvin and me went to 325 to play ball.
okay and here i am already =)
okay.
saw alot of people today.
samantha, thomas, veronica. haha
sighs.
have to do my dumb dumb research later
sha la la la la la la.
im feeling damn lazy on saturday
no mood for studies man., haha
nvm JIA YOU. haha.
fang shou hou cai dong de zhen xi
na she ren de ben xin ma?
wo hai shi zai xun zhao zhe shu yu wo de na ge wang zi
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, March 22, 2007
school has been fine.
as usual, lectures and tutorials, dozing off and concentrating.
besides that it's playing basketball and slacking?. hahas
okay. had self-training yesterday,
we were full of CRAPS.
and seriously we are damn lame. haha
but yeap united we are, even when we talked bad about the same girl. haha =p
i went to mac at 4 am today. study all the way till like 7.20?. then met eddie and went to school. hahas.i guess im without slp for like 18 hours already. i only had two and a half hours of sleep yesterday. haha. after that sort of like slack in the library with gab,eddie and ang gu, =). then home sweet home.
oh ya, saw janice and novell on my way back, yeah !! i miss you babes, hahas.
oh shucks. im looking forward to weekends, at least i can rest. haha. and training tomorrow.im sick and tired of my time table. end freaking late , earliest 3. what the hell la. never mind. ANG SIOW THIEN, JIA YOU =). im nuts.
its never easy trying to put everything down,
moving on like nothing has ever happen.
its never easy to open up to someone,
when your heart has been lock since the very day.
somehow as days pass by
all the NEVER EASY will get easier.
then, my fairytale can be rewritten with my prince.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, March 18, 2007
when my phone rings,
your name appeared.
shocked my soul,
my heart crumbles.
your life story,
im still so into it.
your love story,
its hurts to listen.
still, no matter how bad i feel,
a smile i show, a blessing i give.
i've waited so long
even if its just a word
as long as it's from you,
my day would be brighten,
but.
how many times, how many lies i've said
to numb myself,
as painful as it may be,
like a needle pricking my heart continuously.
have you ever think of the girl
who once loved you wholeheartedly.
the girl is not strong
the girl hasn't forget
but, she has no choice.
only to let the boy go.
all the girl still hope was,
the promise you made will be fulfilled.
NEVER ERASE THE MEMORIES WHICH ONCE CONTAINS YOU AND ME.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
im not able to find back the feeling
the sweetness of loving someone.
the constant awaiting,
landed me into numbness.
that smile of mine,
has long turned into dust.
whats left is that facade smile.
wipe that facade smile away,
i want to smile like i used to.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, March 16, 2007
hmmmm.
had match with ajc yesterday.
mixed feelings among us.
sigh, whatever.
after that went to makan at sumo house
then went to adel house to play mahjong hahas.
my speed of arranging the tiles is super slow. hahas.
played till one thirty then home sweet home.
suoer short post.
im feeling lazy.
haha =)
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
*thats how i feel when we got together and problems start, the tears kept flowing,
my heart is breaking, yet you keep on moving without waiting. promises you made, make me wonder , but still you went back on your words.
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
*i once promise, ill be with you no matter what happens. now, i'm going back on my words cause it's painful to keep on to those words. better still, since you dont need me anymore, at least now i know, waiting is somewhat redundant.
sometimes,
following your heart,
will land you in blood.
subconsiously, two and a half years past
time to wake up,
live for my own.
start afresh,
without you anymore.
i'll keep on trying,
till you are forgotten
like im to you.
goodbye, my once loved
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
You held my hand and walked me home, I know
Why you gave me the kiss, it was something like this, it made me go oh oh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love, guys are so hard to trust
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Monday, March 12, 2007
my heart is lock
since the day you went away.
you took the key,
forgot to give me back.
now its unable to unlock.
its having difficulty breathing
its bleeding,
from all the tries to get free,
please take pity on me,
the girl that used to love you
throw me back the key,
its as simple as abc
just five words,
I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE
and answers to my uncertainties.
till then,
the heart will be unlocked
the pain will go away.
i understand, i know.
i shouldnt let it lingers
i should get away with it.
all i need is just those words
to set me free.
take pity on me,
if you ever know whats going on
tell me what i want to hear
say it with honesty
boy cause i can differentiate.
the heart needs freedom,it needs to be unlocked
the pain too unbearable.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
the same old route
the once so familiar faces
gone with the wind
and now, i shall forget about eternity.
boy, you will never BELONG to me.
my wishful thinking
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okay.
went to it fair then to match.
lost by 5 pts
but the referee damn bias la.
cannot stand. haha
after that play bball while then chit chat then home sweet home.
hahas =)
like i said, i dont wnat to end up dying during bridging later
so im gg to slp now.
and ya its not excuses.
thats it.
believe what seen
and not what heard
believe the one you love
more than your conscious mind.
boy, do i love you still.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Sunday, March 11, 2007
okay. fine
so went meet wai dek at khatib mac at two plus then study
after that went to the bball court infront of khatib mrt to watch the guy's match.
well lost by 19 points but they tried their best
after that,played 5on5 half court,
they were damn noisy la. hahas
then went to eat at mac
chatted awhile then hoem sweet home. =).
oh ya and im noy going the clinic already,
having bridging the next day
i dont want to fall asleep during bridging,
cannot afford to =).
nvm, no mood to club too
and , i dont bother.
and if being together with a grp of guys look like a flirt,
so be it.
and the different definition of flirt.
and you , stop asking money from me,
im not working
come on, you dont have to care abt the bill
and so why are you short of cash?
the best thing is you are not even the one giving me allowance.
whatever.
oh ya and alvin heard someone telling him
i still like eric.
and he says he heard it long ago
what a 'joke'
fine, be it he knows or not
nothing will ever change.
if things would have been a little better
a little smoother,
a little more love then disappointment,
i wouldnt behave the way i am
i wouldnt react to you all like i never
i wouldnt be someone so not like me.
-my weird attitude, weird self doesnt come without any reasons-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Saturday, March 10, 2007
too much happenings
im so numb to the surrounding.
don't try telling me whats going on
ignorance is a bliss from now on.
you all dont need me for anything
so let me remain in the dark as i wish.
my shattered heart, with a shattered family.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, March 09, 2007
i'm leaving my world of illusion
starting to face the truth.
life has been so much better
and now, you dont matter.
still, tears rolled down when memories resurface
its not love, its just disappointment.
my heart is dead,
its bleeding yet its numb
someone stop the blood and let me feel the pain again.
i dont wanna play no more.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
okay. haha
today is the last day of orientation. and sad to say some of my friends are no longer in the same class at me.
like zheng yang and benjamin.
lala. we'll miss you all,.
okay i seriously hope that we can bond. but ahaha. like kind of hard =(
okay.
went to sarimbu camp site for water games.
i sneak in to be the game master for water bomb.
its DAMN fun la,
i got myself SUPER wet. haha
everyone really enjoyed. haha
cleared up at the end and went back to sch at 6 plus,
then went for JAM AND HOP.
it wasnt that fun. but still did enjoy la
with my trudy and pru. haahs,
after that went home with p03 peeps.
oh ya and the jae peeps for bball this year,
i mean girls la,so tall. hahas
okays its random =)
-be with me like you always do-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
the one that most people though will leave,
stayed at the end.
freaking bored,
the jae people are not as rarr raar as us.
so i took chances to sneak out and slack,
whatever.
oh ya saw a few familar faces haha
alvin and wan lin and xiang cong,.
hahas.
played bball after the ogl things
fcuk, got to reach sch at 7, damn early can !! RARRR.
oh ya and chang qiao hui !!
you are super MEAN haha =)
-being a socialite doesnt equates to flirt-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
okay.
so ut like 9.31 am NOW
oversleep.
i got into yjc. haha fine.
okay thinking about going to sch at around 3 plus.
hahah.
hmmm.
had match with tpjc yest.
and i saw jia yun, my long lost primary school friend.
hahas =))
okay we win !!!
so happy,
after match we went home.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Saturday, March 03, 2007
okay people !!! let me make this clear =)
I DONT SMOKE
the pic was just for PHOTOTAKING PURPOSE =))
hahas.
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Friday, March 02, 2007
hello again its me maddy! (:
yayness! i finally got her picture and editted a lil here and there!
&&fellyjellybelly! i've re-linked you already! (: cause i know she wont touch a single shit stuff in her blog! lol!
oh by the way tina, i took off your archieves cause it takes too much space and it looks ugly like that! haha!
and oh people, she was lying when she said she didnt puff. cause the smoke automatically went in to her mouth! sshhhhh!
lol! ok im being lame! so goodbye for now! (:
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
Thursday, March 01, 2007
what a fine day,
i mean fine seriously.
i reached school at 9.30
haha.
skipped math lecture and assembly. haha
okay.
wanted to skip chinese today too
but haas, i went in the end.
okay,
ANG siow thieN,
you BETTER wake up and be SERIOUS !!!.
stop PONNING after jae.
fine. after school went for flyer distriution with p04 hahas,
tiring la, waste my saliva also. =p
EXCUSME, THERE WILL BE YJC STUDENTS COLLECTING NEWSPAPER AND UNWANTED CLOTHES ON WED,7th MARCH, THANK YOU,
hahas, after that went for yoshi with char, aud, sarah and gu huai, haha.
after that went to play bball at nee soon cc.
then im now at HOME.
oh ya,
and i cant stand people who simply have no time concept.
i kept quiet because i dont want to hear any apologies
cause it will still be the same.
come on, please have some basic courtesy or rather manners.
stop being late.
-a dream, a dream so true-
BEAUTIFUL AS IT SEEMS
shattered beneath
