BROKEN UP INSIDE

2007-06-17T01:28:00.000+08:00

2007-06-17T01:26:00.000+08:00

A fragrant memory is soon to fade
We lived a love of make-believe, dreams and fairytales
Now we say goodbye, habitual romance
A rose without her petals and a song without a dance

even without petals,
this rose strives for the better.
for all that she deserves.
and for all that is worth.
goodbye her once lover.
=)

2007-06-15T13:24:00.000+08:00

just got back from school
has been super duper lazy to blog hahas =)
oh well,
went to play bball yesterday at night with, eric thomas caihuang shirong and youyi.
damn LONG nv play with u all already can !! haha
i miss you all.
hmmm couldnt wake up today,
rush to school for GP.
miss lee's last lesson.
oh my.,. we'll miss you la..
had a mini farewell celebration for her,
she gave us chocolates and cards.
damn sweet.
yeap. hmmm
though she is inexperience, but we really enjoy the days with her la. hmmm.

yeap. thats about it? hmmm.
got to buck up already.
ANG SIOW THIEN, !!!

Don't ever give up if you still want to try,
Don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go

2007-06-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

I won't be lost
Next time you see me
My pain will be gone
Baby believe me I been trying
But my heart keeps on breaking
I won't be lost

tiring day?
alright i think.
after school, went to study with adel jian ming and eric.
and then back home.

tomorrow,
actually i intend to play bball in school.
because someone would be there,
but somehow, fate less?
haha got training.
anw, maybe thats always better than awkward silence?

when it was you, i know what i want
so clear.
after you, i dont know what i want
so mixed up, so unclear.

2007-06-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

alright, was way too lazy to blog yesterday.
hmmm. played against NYJC =))
jiayou for all the next matches =)
after match, went to play ball at gombak with adel, eric and jian ming =))
oh ya. HAPPY SHOOT ?! haha
hmmm went home after that.

school today, damn tragic.
leg pain. hahas.
went home after school.
hmmm
and out again.
oh well,. im at adel's house now..
tragic la.. hahas
damn FUNNY LA.
one malay boy was hiding in the lift,
i dint saw it la..
i thought i saw GHOST can! so black somemore,
then he ran out of the lift.
FCUK la, i got a shock and screamed.
haha the best part was, he dont care despite my screaming, and ran away =.=
ren xia ren xia si ren !!!!

hmmm.
my temper, they got from bad to worst?
tragedy.
MUST CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

i miss my eyecandy =p
i dont care, you must miss me too =).

-i dont care if you dont seem to.-
-disappointments, was all that i ever got from you-
-the girl, has been gone so far, though memories still lingers-
-i want that blood red roses stained with all the blood red tears-

2007-06-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what i was trying to do

met julia to study this morning,
damn tragic.
im super tired la.. haha =)
hmm after that went for training.
injured my ankle lol.
on my way home, i saw BRENDA =)
wee, that panda of mine. haha
went to look for bin pei with bren,
chatted,
then janet called haha..
so went to yishun and play pool together..
haha I MISS THEM MANY MANY. hmmm.

and now im home.
have to do my pw later.
no sleep again.
damn tragic la..
well anyway.
im going ALJUNIED tomorrow.
hmm hope i can see my eyecandy.
haha.
hope i get to play too.

its seem that you are avoiding.
whats the use?
or maybe im too paranoid. haha =)

-ai cuo, yao dong de fang shou-
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

2007-06-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

2007-06-09T06:19:00.000+08:00

finally im back home.
from town, with adel and kelly.
oh well, but before i continue my topic on that,
i didnt went to school on friday.
hmmm overslept.
i slept all the way till 12.15pm, then, rot till 2pm,
hahas.
hmm after that met adel at 5, went to play ball at woodlands,
then,
went home to get change and met up with kelly at eleven plus.
went to alley bar first, had apple martini there.
damn nice,=), bitched abit. hmmm,
after that we went to the balcony.
hahas, hmm had bad melon there.
not bad either.
oh well,
slack and chatted till 4 plus,
cabbed back to yishun,
ate at mac.
and now im HOME.

weee.
i miss my eyecandy.
haha u seem to care abit more =).

my heart ache still.
i can still see blood flowing.
i can feel myself tearing.
yet, coldness was all that i can feel.

-off to bed-

2007-06-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

2007-06-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

alright.
hmm went to cpcc after school today.
played ball
completed gp.
yeap.
hmmm. played till 8 plus,
then went to mac and slack. hmmm.
whoa...cass adel and me ate alot alot.
nuggets and macwings meal.. wahhhh
unbelievable can. hmm
oh well, saw this group of adults making balloons.
twisted them into shape.
and they gave us a number of it.
wee.
elmo, teddy, flower, pink panther, heart. =))
loves. its damn cute la =))

i know all that i ever wanted was you =) <3

2007-06-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

okay.
was super duper tired yest.
so didnt bother to blog =p.
went to play bball after school yest,
went home at 8 plus.
yeap.

hmmm,as for today,
had lesson till 3.
hmmm, julia bought me STRAWBERRIES. yum yum
i love you many many,=)
played bball awhile.
then headed to bk to study.
and then im back home.

oh well, shun julia and kel, u all damn bad la
all look at me when u all saw xj walk pass,
the best part was, you all burst into LAUGHTER !!!!.
tragic la =)

my eyecandy..
like i said,
its not love, its a special type of feeling,
more than an eyecandy perharps?
but its just special.
i nv had it before,
but its not love.
i dont know how to explain things,
but you make me wanna know you even deeper,
and im not that innocent girl that u might think,
my looks are, but my character aint.
due to the environment im brought up in,
i got no choice but to be more than how i look.
get it?.
and i dont promise things =)

-memories are what that keep me going.-

2007-06-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

oh well.
hmmm school was kind of boring? hmm
fell asleep during math.
had a hard time trying to stay awake during chem.
ohh la la. hmm
and now im home.
so damn early. cause i got so much work undone.
hmmm
so many things, so little time =(

oh ya.. kinda weird when i saw you in school.
hmm hmmm.
natural reaction?
u never even say hi. hmm.
oh well.
why should i even bother? hmmm
but. hahas
contradict eh

wee, my eyecandy coming back today.
hmmm haha =)
<3

pig, i did take my meals on time okay? hmm.. and i bear to kill YOU. =)

-maybe thats the best ending-

2007-06-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

the thought of SCHOOL tomorrow just woke me up from my fairytale la =(
the thought of ECON test tomorrow killed me even further.
hahas

oh well,
hmmm, went to find ah ma in the afternoon.
weee. i miss you la=)
after that at about 6 i went down to cpcc to play ball.
hmmmm.
and now im back home..

oh ya,
hmmm, maybe i really dont know what i exactly wanted well.
hmm i should go and think about it,
but one thing im sure is, i dont want that ambigouity anymore, though i'll still think of it la, i admit we are from two different world. =)
i gave you chances to hold me back,
but you didnt, and now im REALLY gone.
and im just your friend from now on..=)

wee, one more day to the return of my eyecandy =))
and im so so happy.
im going crazy.
hmmm hmmm.

oh ya, someone so good eh, listen to me. hahas stupid PIG !!! =)

-when it all comes, which way should i go?-
-a new chapter with that closure of the unwritten fairytale.-

2007-06-03T00:01:00.001+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

im feeling so down now.
right now.
i dont know why
i feel like tearing.

2007-06-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

maybe just maybe,

i have no one to lean on afterall.

so sorry.

2007-06-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

oh welll
went on a studying spree at cafe cartel with shun and julia.
damn funny la =)
had bread buffet haha =))
and damn funny things happen eh? haha
oh well, and martin is a JOKER =)) haha

hmmm i miss my eyecandy eh.
hahas.
hmmm monday monday.
i really hope to go out with you eh.
hmm =))
i dont know why its getting stronger each day.
=)

oh welll, hmmm
hmmm i guess its just a random post eh
anw, im happy for adeline. haha =)
weee,
hmm hmmm hmmm.

i guess ive misunderstand you eh
hmmm why didnt you clear things out with me?
or maybe you cant be bothered?
hmmm hmm.
your coldness, im used to it.
bidding this last bit , goodbye.

and MARTIN IS MY BROTHER FOREVER =))

-i need GOD's miracles to get close to you-

2007-06-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

alright.. played ball just now at kovan eh
hmmm
play till 9 plus.
hmm and went back home =)

oh well.
i havent touched any shit of my econs la
damn. hmmm

my mood is like a rollercoaster ride la
come on xiao tian !!!
control your attitude PLEASE =)
well, thanks to those who always tolerate.
such as mad, qiao, adel, shun =))
big thanks.

someone is enjoying in KL now.
well.
i so miss you la =)
wee. you messaged me at 6 plus this morning.
damn cute can !!
ask me not to miss you.
haha i DONT care. i want to miss you.
hahas.
and YOU MUST THINK OF ME. =)
take care ar.

-without you, im still so fine, and so i realise its the same to you,
and i wonder why should i even BOTHER.-

2007-06-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

well.
met adel at 12.30
went to study till like 5 plus.
played bball at woodlands
till around 10.
then had dinner
and now home sweet home. hahas

hmm
someone gg kl this morning already. sigh
haha back on monday
take care eh?
and must miss me
cause i'll miss you,
and you sounded as if so worked up
in your blog
cool down.
haha =)

you made me realise
maybe i should go.
but do you have to end things in this manner?
sigh.

2007-05-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

hmm yesterday was quite a fun day eh?
hahas.
went to sentosa with kelly jiawan and adel.
played volleyball, get tanned though not very obvious.
chit chatting. hahas =))
hmmm best of all, camwhoring =D
went back at 5 plus eh.
hmm walk around at vivo.
then back to yishun
went to 111 to play ball.
then home sweet home.

oh ya.. was too tired to blog la.
slept at like 12 plus
and woke up like just only la =).

hmmm and im meeting adel later
study and balling =))

since i cant even ask you a simple question
i guess thats it right?
u never know how disappointed i feel.
but maybe through your replies
i know
i know,
i have to go.
and the feeling wasnt deep afterall.

someone dont wanna play ball today
say he wanna slp.
lol PIG eh.
but well, i understand la.
hmm take care eh?
hmmm must miss me,
of not life is a tragdey for me eh.
hahas.
and i miss you. my eyecandy =)

arghhh.. running nose again,

-thats it, no more.-

2007-05-31T00:41:00.000+08:00

2007-05-30T01:11:00.000+08:00

But everytime I try to make you smile
You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself
Everytime I try to make you laugh
You stand like a stone
Alone in your zone
Is it too much that I'm asking for?

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you

-when two hearts collides.still theres no spark only tears flowing from the painful heart.
so broken to pieces, so painful those tears drop.
as if knifes pricking through
as if someone stabbed to death,
still there isnt any ending
or rather any beginning-

2007-05-30T00:46:00.000+08:00

went to study with julia at civic mac this morning.
adel and jm joined us later.
lol.
full of laughters eh?
had a damn damn good laugh la..
all thanks to julia =)
im contented to have such friends with me =)
oh my and on my way to foodcourt
i saw fang ru!!!
i was damn happy la.
i miss her like so much la.
hahas

well, tmr outing,
so not excited,
somehow, i seem troubled.
my temper, they get from bad to worst.
this effing sucks la.
my mood swing they are like roller coaster ride.
if this continues,
i dont even know what would i become.
damn it.
i have the sudden urge to curse and swear now,
as much as i feel like crying,
i feel pressurize,
i feel so eff-ed up.

oOKAY, somethings are worth to be rejoiced.
my eyecandy coming back from camp tmr. haha
so happy la =)
i miss you like madd? hahas

i dont know why,
still i message you,
still something i hope.
maybe its so clear
i know what i want.
but,
i have never been unable to get things i want
since young,
i got my ways,
but you are so different
i dont even know how to react.
its like sudden heartbreaks.
oh well, what the hell am i talking.
but thats what im feeling.
messed up.
everytime you dint reply
my heart broke,
tried to smile,
yet as if i tried too hard.
i miss your care
i miss so many things
were i the one who let things go first or are you the one?
do you still read this blog and tries to understand how i feel
like you used to?
or im just yet another her to you?.
my STUPID BOY.

i agreed im paranoid
neither do i bear any grudges against you or anything.
i appreciate your understanding =)
i hope things do go well for you.
and its the end of the "blog-talk"

i need someone here right now,
i wanted so much for you.
i dont know why words are affecting me
i dont know why i tried so hard to act as if im strong.
somehow i wish you understand.
somehow i wish you to be out of my mind.

contradicting aint i?
one at one moment.
but who cares =)

-when things get so out of hand, leave it and move on-

2007-05-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

well.
meet adel at amk hub,
walk around,
ate mushroom, and chicken,
cass came =)
then shun came =)
after that acc cass find her monkey =p.
then went to mos.
after that went to teck ghee cc,
wanted to play ball. but well, they having fuction there,
so shared cab back to cpcc.
hmm fell asleep on the way back.
damm tired.

sorry peeps if i cause trouble to you all. =)
i'll learn from the mistakes i made.
sorry. =)
adel, take care of your ankle please =)

im not quite sure if someone was referring to me in her blog.
but oh well,
kind of obvious eh?
hahas STUPID people loves to do redundant stuffs eh?
and well, i dont need you to ask him to clear things out with me
we are clear of what is going on.
thanks FOR your good intention eh?

im sorry of my mood-swing today.
thanks for putting up.
sorry.

-its affecting me, and i dont know how-

i miss you. my no 6 =)

2007-05-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

hmm just finish eating my pear. yum yum.
okay.
match againist HONG KAH.
lost by 4 pts.
as i expected, dint get to play
but still learn from the game eh? ahas
hmm after that
went to woodlands to play ball.
play till like hmmm. ten plus then took train back,

cheer up TECK GHEE ballers!!!
lets jia you jia you. haha =)
adel, dont blame yourself alright?
loves you.
and happy happy just now? hahas =D

oh my i miss my eyecandy.
he's away. sighh
i wanna watch potc with YOU YOU, hahas. =)).

like so finally, you replied eh?
oh well nth to say to you either.
so be it?
we shall be.
hahas =)
take care. past tense?.

-what would a crush lead to-haha

2007-05-27T00:42:00.001+08:00

everyone has someone to love?
do i have one to?
maybe yes,
but why i always love the wrong one?.
and end up in pain?.
super dumb eh?
super lousy eh?.
not good enough?
vulgar eh?
oh well.
maybe i dont worth any love?
haa.

and bloody hell,
who can understand how i feel.